Promises to Keep
by rainypromise
Summary: By the pricking of my thumb. Something wicked this way comes." Macbeth. Set after Eclipse. Jacob and Bella friendship. Danger for the werewolves come in the wake of Bella's change and The Cullens must choose sides. The werewolves or their own kind.
1. QUOTE

_**"Strange is it that our bloods, of colour, weight and heat pour'd all together,**_

_**Would quite confound distinction, yet stand off in differences so mighty."**_

_** All's Well That Ends Well, Act 2, Sc. 3**_


	2. PREFACE

**PREFACE**

My heart literally stopped as my breath was squeezed out of me in a painful gasp. The seconds lengthened; my tunnel vision could only see him and nothing else. His broad back that was corded by long and lithe muscles bunched, bracing for the blow that was coming. Nothing seemed to matter anymore but the tall figure that stood in front of me in a protective stance, sharp snarls echoed in my ear, the husky tone of his voice, clear and dear even now.

His russet skin stretched over a body that was strong and large, but not strong enough. He was still made out of flesh and blood… he can still be hurt, be wounded. I could feel the heat that emanated from his skin, and my body remembered how it had warmed me in my darkest and coldest of nights.

My eyes caught a glimpse of unnaturally pale limbs moving unbelievably fast, closer to us, to him.

A sickening sound of ripped flesh tore through the slightly chilled air. A painful scream erupted from him and it tore at my already broken heart and as the pain wracked over his body, ripples of pain trembled over mine.

He fell at my feet, crumpled and broken.

Blood was spilled, drenching the green moss that always seemed to cover the earth at this part of the world.

My eyes didn't even see the thirst and hunger in the vampire's black coal eyes that was heading straight to me; the only thing I could see was _him_, the only thing I could think of was him, the only thing I could sense was him.

The silence that ruled me was suddenly broken and in the midst of battle, I screamed.


	3. Remembering A Promise

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter One: Remembering A Promise**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Is You by Shannon Noll**

"_Every season is winter, in my life again and I don't want_ _to feel like this_

_Every single memory is haunted by your last kiss…"_

A/N: ...I can't help myself...and I could do better though.

--

_Jacob's POV_

I took a deep, deep breath and let my eyes wander through the canopy of fir trees that loomed overhead to watch the fingers of light cascading through the space between one tree and another.

The earth was wet and cool under my skin, but it didn't stay that way for long thanks to my insane body temperature. Every time I moved, the rich, fresh smell of damp earth wafted into my nostrils, as familiar to me now as my own scent.

Different smells and sounds bombarded my heightened senses but I tuned them out.

It took a moment for me—as it always did these days—to realize that I was in my human form and not my other.

My wolf form grew to be as familiar to me as the one I'd lived with for sixteen years, if not as much. After all, nowadays, I'd spent more time in my wolf form than in my human one.

Running. Always running.

_Don't change anything. Sorry._

I never thought that what I wrote then actually has a double meaning _now_. The fact that she _did_ love me didn't matter. The fact that she _knew_ that she did, didn't change anything. I'm surprise that she didn't write that down and send it to me. That would've been a lovely closure.

Bitterness rose in my throat at the thought, but it didn't make it any less true.

I stayed still and held my breath as I waited for the bitterness to give away to pain.

To a pain so deep, so constricting, that it strangled my throat and clawed at my insides, making it hard to breathe.

It seems these days, I live in a perpetual state of aching.

Everything aches; my skin, my muscles, my head.

My heart.

And it was always _there_, no matter what form I was in.

There was no escape from it.

The pain didn't come as fast as it once did, but when it did come; it was still as blinding, still as _new_ as it was weeks before.

It still ripped at my heart like a dull, jagged blade.

A small, tortured sound escaped from my lips but I bit down against it, refusing to let it out. I tried to swallow it down when it trembled in my throat.

Again—like every time the pain rushed inside me—I wondered if it will ever stop. Will it ever fade?

But perversely, I didn't want it to end.

Not yet, not now.

The pain changed somehow. It didn't lessen, true. It throbbed just as strongly, as mean spirited as it always did… but it sweetened somehow.

And the sweetness made it almost bearable, even when it added new and creative ways to carve at my bleeding heart.

I closed my eyes when I felt the first drop of rain, concentrating on the cool sensation it left on my skin as it slid along the dips and valleys of my body.

I couldn't quite remember the many times I did this.

Running myself ragged until exhaustion made me stumble, phasing back into my human form just as I was about to fold onto the ground in an unmoving heap of pain; going home only once I'd gotten so tired that I could do nothing but crash into a dreamless sleep.

Sometimes, when the pain was too great—when the memories were too vivid, when my feelings were too raw—I would continue to run, run until my mind blanked, until instincts took over and my human side disappeared with the added distance.

Like the memory of kissing her—the memory of when her lips came alive against mine—God, that was the worst and best of it all. The bittersweet memory of when she finally told me that she loved me—really loved me—that was a slow, agonizing pain that made my heart ached in ways that I never knew it could. Our long walks down the beach, they way we muddled through mud and rain on our motorcycles, every memory brought another fresh bout of pain that bullied my heart into submission.

My brothers tried to help, but eventually—at my resistance and persistence—they left me alone.

The patient, waiting look of my father was another matter.

I wondered whether this was how she felt back then, and the sweetness returned at the thought that I was experiencing something that _she_ had once experienced, as if that brought me closer to her somehow.

_But not close enough_.

I clenched my eyes tightly against the sudden stab in my chest at the mere thought of her. As if I evoked her somehow, my mind supplied me with biased images of her face.

Frustration pummeled my brain and I let loose a low, threatening growl that was much more suited to my wolf side. But then… then the pain seeped through.

"Bella."

The whispered name was heavy with longing; it quivered with the emotions that were trapped inside me with no one to give them to. So, it raged inside me, searching for a way out, but found none.

"_Bella_."

My voice broke at the end as the storms of my emotions finally burst through all of my defenses.

And as if in sympathy, the gathering clouds released a sudden torrent of rain, drenching me until I can't distinguish where my tears end and the rain begins.

I didn't know how long I laid there in the rain and the mind numbing pain, but when the sun broke through the clouds and touched everything within my sight with gold, I figured out what I had to do.

_I promised her, and damn myself if I didn't stick to it._

I stood up with a jerk of my body and wiped the rain from my face with a trembling hand. Shaking my long hair, I snapped my head back and let loose a determined howl that trickled out of my human throat and exited through my wolf one.

And I ran. This time, _to_ her and not _from_ her.

I promised her that I will always be there for her, so now… I had a wedding to go to.


	4. Whispered Promises

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Two: Whispered Promises**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Sorrow by Flyleaf**

_"..Sitting closer than my pain...he knew each tear before it came..."_

A/N: This one was easier to write, I guess I sort of had to ease myself in.

--

**Bella's POV**

I scowled at my reflection in the dressing room mirror.

It was so unnecessary.

It was such a waste.

So, alright, I looked great—like whenever Alice browbeat me into playing dress up—but still, what is up with the waiting?

Can't we just get it over with?

If I wasn't sure about my love for Edward before, this will certainly assure me of just how much I love him. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, all fluffed and primped.

_Ugh._

"Alice, how long do I have to stand here like a complete idiot?"

I was so busy sulking at the little things that Alice had prepared for me that it took a moment for me to realize my Maid of Honor's complete stillness.

It was the low, husky chuckle that warned me. I felt my heart literally stop before it picked up its pace, double time.

Heart in throat, I turned slowly and raised my eyes to meet the dark ones that I have continued to—however hard I try not to—miss.

For weeks, I struggled with the fact that Jacob was mine no longer. I thought I was over it, that I have somehow made peace with it, but time didn't heal all wounds. It merely mocked me with little reminders of what I'd lost, what I would continue to lose.

I couldn't count the many times I picked up the phone to call him, barely remembering that he asked me to wait for his before any further contact between us. I couldn't stop the overwhelming urge to look over whenever I hear the loud snarl of a passing motorcycle; it didn't matter that I knew it couldn't possibly be him. Just last week, I was almost reduced to tears by the sight of a small russet-colored dog that just happenned to wander through Charlie's lawn.

Now, here he was standing in front of me.

Large as ever, handsome in a casual, unassuming black jacket and a white shirt beneath it, with no tie. And his black satin hair—my heart squeezed with no particular emotion—tied in a pony tail except for the shorter bangs that escaped here and there. It reminded me of how he looked when he came to the prom, looking all awkward and embarrassed.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Jacob no longer looked awkward and embarrassed. He looked strong, graceful and, strangely, majestic. It was as if he'd gone through some great battle and came back—if not victorious—less conflicted.

He looked thinner than usual and under his eyes were the purple half circles that I usually see on other faces that are just as familiar, just as beloved.

Memories, both sweet and bitter, played in my mind like a never-ending movie as I felt the familiar rush of homesickness that he always managed to awaken inside me.

It's been so long since we saw each other, and the small, deaden part of my heart—the one that I suspect will always belong to Jacob—trembled to life, filled up and overflowed.

My eyes were so focused on his face—trying to carve it into my memory—that I hardly noticed that both Alice and Angela slipped out of the room, giving us a chance to have our say.

To say our goodbyes for—at least, for now—the last time.

I could feel that small part of me protesting violently.

His eyes—his dark, warm eyes—smiled into mine even before his lips curved into the remembrance of his usual wide, carefree smile. My eyelids almost fluttered closed with the fear of pain because I knew—without a doubt—this will be just as painful, just as horrible as the last time we talked, but even though the smile was not my usual smile, I took heart that it didn't have the bitter edge that had usually preceded an argument between us.

I could only watch when Jacob took a step closer, then another, and another, until eventually; he stood—impossibly tall—in front of me.

"Bella, honey."

Another rush of homesickness washed over me at the husky sound of his voice that wrapped around the familiar words that I could only managed a whisper, "Yes?"

"You're killing it."

The words were as shocking as it didn't make sense. "What?"

The smile on his face widened as he shook his head at me. A teasing, helpless look glowed in his eyes before those eyes released mine and slid down—oddly—to my hands.

I followed suit and realized what he meant. My fingers were currently choking my small, tasteful, white—what was the name of the flower again?—bouquet.

"Oh."

I frowned at the small petals that fluttered to my feet but my fingers refused to let go of them, they were shaking so hard.

The death grip didn't ease off and only grew tighter when Jacob's hand–rough and warm—touched mine.

"Let go, Bella."

I didn't know why, but the words suddenly seemed to have a double meaning. I clutched the flowers much tighter between my fingers that they started to tremble along with my hands.

I inhaled sharply when he pressed hard, lacing my fingers with his left one while the other wrangled the poor bouquet from my clutch of death and put it on a nearby table. "Here," He offered his other hand, so now I was holding both of his hands in a hard grip—though he probably didn't even feel it, "you can hold on to these instead."

I blinked at him—nodding dumbly—and easily stared back into his eyes since he sat at an edge of a table so I didn't have to look up so far.

"Jacob." It was most embarrassing the way my voice broke and I couldn't help but feel strengthen by the warmth of his hands that seeped into my clammy palms.

It wasn't just because this was Jacob—a person who had brightened up my darkest days—and this was my wedding day to my truest of loves.

It wasn't because this was Jacob—a person that I came to love with every breath in my body and who loved me back just as much if not more—and that he was here on the day I was to wed another person that I love even more than him.

It was because this was _Jacob_, my best friend in the whole wide world whom I had shared every secret that I had. And, even though our friendship had grown rocky as of late, the mere sight of him still gave me a sense of comfort, a sense of home, for that was what he was to me.

A home, made out of—not brick or wood or glass—but flesh and bone.

Because of that, all the doubts and nerves about the day and the days after that I managed to hide from everybody else—even knowing how unfair and how cruel it would be to actually dump it on him—rose to the surface; in wait of his fresh perspective and comforting words.

He must have either sensed my anxiety or saw it in my face or heard it in my voice—he knows me so well—that he squeezed my hands gently, once; twice.

His eyes swept over my face and lingered on mine before looking away. It was then that I saw it.

My hands twisted from his hands to flutter at his face right before he managed to hide it with his bangs, the long scar protruding from his left temple, already pink with recovery.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing." His lips curved upwards in a small smile before he added, "A hit and run."

I swept away his bangs from the wound so I could see it better and rediscovered how his pain brought about my own sets of pain as the thought of him hurting knotted my stomach. My fingers touched his scalding skin, fingers tracing the scar with shaking, fascinated fingers. I still couldn't get over how fast they heal no matter how much I hope it will always be that way.

If only other parts of him can heal just as fast.

It took a few seconds for me to finally realize what I was doing—and who I was doing it to—I caught his stare and flushed guiltily.

When I stepped back he caught my left hand and held it in his wide palm, his eyes never wavered from my face. "I'm going to miss that."

My confusion was probably clear because his lips curved into a small smile. "Seeing you blush."

I knew it. He was going to make me cry.

Not that I don't deserve it.

"I'll miss just seeing you at all really."

My breath hitched at the finality in his voice. "So, this really is good bye, Jacob?"

"It'll be easier."

"For whom?" The accusation flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. I was appallingly selfish sometimes.

The look in his eyes was surprisingly patient. "For both of us."

Something was caught in my throat so I only shook my head in denial. I know… I know that I should let him go, I somehow realized that before this day, I actually hoped that he would give in and accept my decision, but this was Jacob, not Edward.

Edward would humor me, while Jacob… well, he knew I could never be mad at him for long, and for the most part—and I know just how twisted this is—Jacob was surer of the love that I feel for him than Edward ever did of my love for him.

After all, didn't Jacob figure out that I was in love with him far longer than I had?

"Will you miss me, Bella?"

My eyes could be closed and I could be a mile away, without even looking at him, without looking at his face, I would know instantly who this was, asking me.

I didn't need the young and unsure look in his dark eyes to know which part of him that voiced the question.

This was _my_Jacob.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I struggled to not let it spill over. "What kind of a question is that? _Of course_, I will. _Very_much."

"A year from now?"

"Yes."

"Five years?"

"Of course."

"Ten? Thirty?" A mocking smile flirted on his wide lips. "A hundred?"

"Jacob—"

He tilted his head to the side as if in thought, "I wonder if you'll even remember me at all."

The question was a stab to the heart, and as always anger followed in the footsteps of any pain that he caused—somehow it was always harder to forgive him than it needed to be to forgive Edward. It wasn't because I loved the one more and the other less, it was because, I expected Jacob to know better—to know _me_better—because, most of the time, he does.

I wrenched my hand away from his and turned my back on him.

"I'm not trying to be cruel, Bella."

"You're already succeeding, why bother with trying?"

"I'm not punishing you."

"_Really_?"

"I'm just—"

It was the hesitation that did it, that made me sneak a look at him. Something in his deep eyes caught me. The look that he gave me was so focused, so concentrated that his brow wrinkled with the intensity of it.

"I'm just trying to imagine how it will be for you. How _you_will be for me."

"I'll still be Bella, Jacob." The loneliness in his face made me want to wrap my hands around him, like it always did. It had stopped being a surprise, this protective instinct, the strength of the bond between us.

A bond that will soon be tested.

Perhaps, even broken.

I can feel my mind shy away from the thought, protecting me from the pain that will surely come.

"Do you really think that?"

I opened my mouth to say yes, but the look in his eyes stopped me.

The mournful smile on his face broke my mangled heart into little pieces, and it broke even more when he took my face in his hands and brought his face close to mine. His dark eyes captured mine with the kindness and soft light that I knew I would miss so much. But, they were his words, four little words that formed a sentence which blew a hole in my heart. "_This_is my Bella. If you are…different, you won't be my Bella anymore."

The heat of his hands scorched my cheeks, but maybe that was just the tears that flowed down my skin in a fiery trail.

This was something that I won't miss.

The crying.

And like before—even when I begged Edward, cajoled and demanded him to make me a vampire—when I was with Jacob, when I see him hurt over my decision, the loss of my mortal life felt like too much of a sacrifice.

But not big enough for me to stop.

Just like the fact that I do love him but not enough to actually be with him.

He wiped my tears with a coarse hand, the touch of them so unbearably gentle and a sob shivered at my throat when our foreheads touched.

"I tried so hard," he whispered thickly.

"Tried what?" I whispered back.

"To hate you." He tightened his hold on my face when he felt me flinch. "Maybe, it would help a little if I hate you. It didn't have to be all of you but just one, small part of you."

"Did you…" My throat was suddenly dry. I knew I deserved any kind of punishment for everything I did to him—and certainly Jacob hating me would be the cruelest but fairest of punishments—but, selfishly, I knew it would kill me if he hated me. "Did you succeed?"

"Ah, Bella," he chuckled before sighing; his breath was hot against my face. "If only it could be that easy."

Our eyes met and again, a small smile appeared on his face. "I made you a promise," The serious look on his face changed into mocking regret. "Guess I have to stick by it."

"Jacob—"

"So, I'll be here, Bella. Whenever you want… _need_to come back. I'll be here. It doesn't matter who or what you are. If you come back, I'll be there for you."

"Whatever you need, whatever you want." His eyes stared deeply into mine with an intensity that left no doubt that he meant it. "It will be yours."

The thorny, twisted vine that had been squeezing my heart, released its hold and the relief was staggering. If I wasn't crying already, his words would have started it. I didn't realize just how much his friendship meant to me, right until now, until I thought I was going to lose it forever. It was…it was a kind of death, but my pain became meaningless at this very exact moment because I realized how much of a sacrifice this would be for him.

"Even when my scent burns your nose?"

"Well, you can always stay downwind."

He merely grinned when I tried to pinch his side, his body was so darn hard.

For a moment, as I relearn how to breathe, we could only stare at each other. His hands brushed against the side of my face, the serious but earnest look returned to his face, aging it with patience and wisdom.

With a jolt I realized that I also love this part of him… that in my mind, this side of him had started to mold with the side of him that was my Jacob.

"Isabella Swan," the husky tone of his voice lengthened my name as if it was the most beautiful of poetry, "I love you with all my heart. And I will always will."

The solemn vow was whispered to my ear and it was as if the words had a life of their own because they slid through my ear and weaved their way into my heart—into that small piece of my heart—making it beat again. And with each painful throb, moments of our shared conversations, shared laughter, and shared secrets were as tangible, as touchable as the hands that held my face.

"Until _my_heart stops beating."

I realized that my hands were gripping his wrists tightly—the bracelet that he gave me glinted brightly in the light—as if not wanting to let go. "Jacob."

"I wish you well, Bella. Wish you all the happiness in the world."

I was caught off guard by the sudden glint of speculation and mischief in his eyes but when it disappeared, I thought I had imagined it. I was blinded by tears—it was that bad—and felt his lips pressed gently on a teary cheek before—in a sudden movement—he wrapped his arms around me with his usual exuberance and crushed me against his body. But this time I didn't protest and merely hugged him just as tight.

"I _really_hope that you won't die."

"_Jake_—"

The frustration in my voice made him laugh; I closed my eyes to savor the slow rumble sound that vibrated in his chest, pressing my cheek against it.

"Until next time, Bella."

"Please. Stay."

He let me go and grazed a hand on my cheek before he turned to go. "I'm not _that_good yet, Bella."

It was through tears that I watched him go.

And the small of part of my heart that came to life just seconds before, died a slow, painful death.

Again.

I wondered how many times more it will have to die to vanish completely.

I suspected I won't be that lucky.

The sympathy in Alice's eyes made it harder to rein the tears in. "Give me a minute, Alice."

The smile on her face was full of understanding, which didn't help. "It's your wedding, Bella. Take all the time you need."

It wasn't until she came closer and reflexively wrinkled her nose that I remembered the mischief in Jacob's eyes.

I knew I should be mad, but it also reminded me of the way Edward did the same thing not so long ago. It crossed my mind that if things were different, maybe, Edward and Jacob could be friends.

I chuckled at the thought.

"Ah, Jacob." I sighed as I shook my head, imagining the impish look on the face if I ever challenged him with this.

I was frustrated by his gall—it was my wedding day for God's sake—but it was so Jacob that I had to smile.

I met the disgruntled look that Alice gave me. "Do I really smell that bad?"

"You _reek_."

"Think Edward will mind?"

Her little lips pursed in thought. "He already knew that Jacob was here so he'll probably expect it anyway. A few bottles of perfume might help but then you'll reek to the other guests." She shrugged. "I guess he'll just have to deal."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Are you still mad over him vetoing half your guests?"

She sniffed. "The guest list was perfectly fine…"

I watched her chatter away, trying to justify her guest list. I tried to listen, but my eyes drifted to the forest where my best friend and his brothers were probably running over shadows and light, lost in the simple freedom of speed.


	5. The Promise of Perspective

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Three: The Promise of Perspective**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Give Until There's Nothing Left by Relient K**

"_...I'll give, give, give until there's nothing left_

_Give my all, until it all runs out_

_Give, give, give, and I'll have no regrets_

_I'll give until there's nothing left…"_

**Jacob POV**

It was enough for me to hear the low snarl in Quil's voice to know who it was on the other end of the phone.

"He's not here, bloodsucker."

It was also pretty easy to know who Quil meant by 'he', it wasn't like anyone here has any connection to the Cullens.

Except me.

I sighed when Quil ignored my tapping foot. "Quil, give me the phone."

He stared at me from over his shoulder, his eyes suspicious but he handed the phone over anyway, he couldn't not to as I was the pack's second in command. I felt uncomfortable in my ability to order my friends around, especially when I knew they meant well, but I was getting tired of the way they watched me. I eyed Embry who ducked his head and pretended to watch the TV instead of listening in and decided to ignore both of my brothers.

At least Sam wasn't here or Leah. The former would make me feel uncomfortable while the latter would piss me off with whatever witty comments she'd sprout off from her big, fat mouth.

"Hello."

"Jacob."

I shrugged off the natural animosity that I felt just by hearing his voice and greeted him just as politely.

"Edward."

"I suspect that you know we'll be leaving tonight?"

"Hard not to, really."

"Bella will be at Charlie's house until then, checking over some last minute preparation."

I tensed and felt my brothers tensed with me so I forced myself to relax. "And you're telling me this why?"

"Do you know our plans?"

His roundabout ways always manages to raise my hackles. "Do I look like I spend my free time thinking over whatever your family has planned?"

Edward's low chuckle was regretful. "Guess not. What I meant was what Bella has planned. About her change."

A sharp splintering sound entered my ears.

"Jacob, if you destroy that phone I am not buying another one." Billy rolled into the living room, aiming a sharp glance at me so I took a deep breath, loosening my hold on the phone. "Is this you gloating, bloodsucker?"

"I was wondering when you'll fall back to name calling."

"Just tell me what you want."

"Bella is being difficult."

"Since when has she ever been easy?"

The snort was something I didn't really expect from the vampire but I somehow understood the sentiment.

"We've agreed to change her, but, I still have doubts." As if he realized what he was saying, he backpedaled quickly. "Not that I'm breaking my promise—"

"Hey, I'm all for that."

As expected, he ignored me like I didn't speak at all, "—it's just that I wanted her to spend a year or two outside of Forks before it happens."

_A year or two_, I thought, _for her to be human_. It wasn't so much to ask really.

"And?"

"She won't listen to me."

I closed my eyes and dragged in a long breath into my lungs that the lost of hope stole from me. Bitterness choked me. "So, what? Are you asking for my permission or trying to justify any reason for killing her?"

I shifted my weight when the line went quiet as if the leech had stopped breathing and considering _what_ it was he was talking to, that was a possibility.

"That's what you're going to do, right? You know better than I do and you can give whatever kind of name to it but that's what you'll do. Kill her."

When he stayed quiet, I considered hanging up on him but I finally heard him breathe, when he spoke his voice was heavy, dull with.—he couldn't not hear it though he tried not to—pain. "I didn't call to argue with you, Jacob."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"She won't listen to _me_."

It took a moment for me to finally see his point. "You want _me_ to talk to her?"

"I didn't say that."

I ignored the way he hedged the question. "You want me to persuade her to rethink her decision about becoming a vampire?"

He was quiet again, it was as if he was playing it safe, as if I'm recording this conversation to show it to Bella.

_Huh. _

That wasn't such a bad idea.

Shame I didn't have a recorder lying around.

"Do you really think that I haven't tried already?"

"Not the way that you should have."

"What do you mean '_the way that I _should_ have'_?"

"I'm sure you already know by now that you don't _tell_ Bella to do anything."

It was my turn to be quiet, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Have you ever just talked to her about it? Without any judgments, without getting angry?"

"That's none of your business."

I can feel him waiting, waiting for me to think it over.

Usually, our conversations over her choice in becoming a vampire ended in us being mad with each other though the last conversation we had went well. I brushed a hand over my chest when my heart throbbed thickly, remembering the way she looked in her wedding dress.

We haven't met since then, haven't even trade phone calls.

No one was stupid enough or careless enough to mention her name around me, probably because they didn't want me to start the whole running away business again.

The pack had tip toed around me, and I knew that Sam had said something to Leah about aggravating me because she never hung around me long enough to put her paw in her muzzle. The days between the wedding and today was a blur since I kept myself busy—if I wasn't patrolling, I was in the garage, sweating over anything that I can find—earning a few dollars by taking in fixer uppers.

I'd miss having my hands dirty in oil rather than mud and earth.

The only problem was the garage held too many memories of her so I mostly work outside now, just trying to do as much as possible until she left.

Then, well, I haven't decided, yet. I was concentrating on taking it a day at a time.

Accepting that she didn't love me enough to be with me didn't mean that I'd stop hurting over it, but nonetheless I'd accepted it.

Accepting that she did love me was easier but it didn't make the hurt any less, somehow, it even hurt more.

I also accepted the fact that she'll be a vampire soon, no matter how much that ripped at my heart.

But my mind balked over the possibility that if somehow something went wrong—no matter how miniscule the possibility, it was there, and it grew with every passing day—and she'll die…that was something that I know I_ can't_ accept.

Ever.

"Are you serious?"

"Will I be calling you if I'm not?"

I rubbed my face, trying to ease the tightness. "If you go on with your promise, when will…"

"After we settle down, ready with the preparations, a week perhaps."

I felt the table—that the phone was placed on—shook and I thought that it was an earthquake or something but it was just my hand that had somehow ended up clenched around it. It's been quite some time that I lost control like this.

I closed my eyes and calmed myself but it didn't work. An image of her pale and lifeless body—an image that had haunted my dreams and waking hours—burned behind my eyelids. "If she dies, I don't mean change, if she _dies_, I _swear_ I will hunt you down, no matter where you are—truce or no truce—I will end your existence." I heard the low, monstrous growl that trickled out of my throat and felt the eyes of my father and my brothers burning a hole on my back, know they heard me proclaimed war, but, honestly, I didn't really care.

All that matters to me was Bella's life—vampire or human—as long as she existed in the world, I would be—no, not satisfied—_comforted_ by that, at least, I would try to be.

"Jacob ", his voice was filled with bitter, mocking laughter, "if she dies, I won't exist for you to look for."

An understanding passed between us and I settled down. "What makes you think that she'll listen to _me_?"

"The same reason why she _doesn't_ listen to me."

I rolled my eyes at the answer. "And what's that?"

"Love."

I merely looked at the phone when the line went dead, a measure of bitter pleasure—saying that must've stung—curled inside me like a self contented cat. I stood over the phone, staring at it while I decide on what I should do.

But my heart already knew what I should do. What I want to do.

I shoved my hair out of the way and walked toward my room, ignoring the eyes that followed my back.

She was on her tip toes, trying to reach for something in her closet and for a second time that minute, I decided against what I had to do. But when she lost her balance and stubbed her toe—cursing vehemently in frustration and pain—my heart made me walked into her nearly empty bedroom. My eyes raked over her things that were either on the bed or in a box and felt my heart clutched painfully.

I waited for the clawing pain to subside before taking a step closer—making her jump—when I reached for the box she was trying to reach. She whirled around in surprise, a hand on her throat.

"Jacob!" She let out a long breath. "Sheesh. Give a girl warning before you do that, will you?"

I smiled at her flushed, temperamental face. "Sorry, can't resist."

She took the box that I gave her with a look on her face that made me think that she was remembering the many times I've caught her off guard. I saw the ring that glinted on her finger and took my eyes away from it before she caught me looking and they landed on the bracelet.

She wore it on opposite hands.

I wondered whether there was some kind of meaning to it, or whether she was conscious of the implication.

It was then that I realized it.

"Where's the rock?"

She blinked and unconsciously fiddled with the bracelet, the russet wooden wolf figurine turned against her fingers—as if it was a new habit she'd developed. "It was too conspicuous."

I raised an eyebrow. "He accepted it back?"

A pout threatened to settle on her lips. "He's going to make it into a necklace."

I rolled my eyes but found comfort that at least I didn't have to share my gift with his. I walked around her and shoved several things out of the way so I can sit on the bed. "What's in the box? Something important enough for you to break a few bones for? How's the toe?"

She sniffed at my teasing but as if she just realized what it was in her hands, shifted her feet in an uncomfortable manner and avoided my eyes.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

I merely stared at her, waiting for her to cave.

When she stood there, all red faced, he rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me. It's love letters, isn't it? He's just the type to give out love letters."

I tried not to think of the letter that he sent out to me along with the wedding invitation.

She groused, shoved my legs out of the way and took a place in front of me. "Not just from him. There's from you too, though love letter is not exactly the right word for it."

I winced, remembering just what kind of letter I gave her.

"Doesn't change anything._ Sorry_." She mumbled.

"You remember what it says?"

"Don't _you_?"

I pursed my lips at the sharp accusation in her brown eyes. "Maybe."

Her brown eyes slid from my face and I lifted her chin up again. "What is it?"

"It hurt."

She laughed when I dropped my eyes to her injured toe. "Not that, moron. The letter. It hurt."

I flicked a finger on her nose and she scrunched it up, making me smile. "It wasn't meant to."

She sighed. "It wasn't your words that hurt, Jacob. It was that I knew you were hurting."

I fiddled with the bracelet that I gave her, brushing the pads of my fingers on the soft skin at the inside of her wrist, feeling her heart beat.

I felt her heart quicken and I know that she was going to say something important. "It hurt that I _had_ to ask myself whether you want to see me again or not."

Our palms met and I ran my fingers along her fingers, tracing the blue veins that I can see, the pink and cream of her complexion. "For a while, I didn't."

I pressed my fingers on her palm to reassure her. "It…hurt too much when I think of you and that didn't help with my phasing because I got so angry, _all_ the time. And then I'd miss you and that hurt too." I chuckled. "That made me even more angry but more at myself than at you."

"There's nothing I can do to help?"

I know the laugh was as bitter as it was mocking. "I don't think so."

"I'm sorry, Jacob."

"It's not your fault, Bella."

"Some of it is my fault."

I smiled. "Maybe, but most of it is mine for being such a headstrong bastard."

Her lips stretched into a smile. "That you are."

My eyes watched that smile slip away when she saw something in my face, something that told her how bad it really was for me. The moment was uncomfortable to say the least, just like every time the pack slipped inside my mind and actually got to see how I really was doing, but I couldn't look away and from the way she stared into my eyes, she couldn't either.

"It's okay, Bella. I'll be okay."

She nodded slowly, respecting my effort on comforting her. I watched her stand up and placed the box inside one of the bigger boxes.

I didn't offer to help, she didn't ask.

I watch the shift of light outside her bedroom window—the one I had jumped in one particular night—and decided that this was a good enough time as any.

"Bella."

She turned at me, her eyes expectant. I tapped the spot she just vacated and she sat back on it.

"Can I ask you something—I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything—I'm honestly curious." The familiar way of questioning—now a habit—brought a weary smile to her lips but she nodded.

I looked at her for a while, to better see her reaction. "What exactly is it about being human that you hate so much?"

She blinked, her mouth opened and closed, clearly I caught her by surprise. "I don't…_hate_ being human, Jacob. It's just that, well, you know my situation. Being human is just too dangerous for me."

_Then stop hanging out with_ them, the words jumped in my throat but I managed to catch it just in time. From the way she looked at me, I know that she knew what I was struggling with. But I wonder whether she knew what it cost me _not_ to say it, what it cost me not to give into the overwhelming need to make my disapproval clear but then again, I couldn't make my disapproval any clearer than I already had.

She waited and relaxed when she saw me take control of my jerk reflex—no pun intended—and awarded my effort with a small smile.

She reached out to play with the thin silver chain I wrapped around my left wrist, the chain itself served as a hanging place for all my keys. Don't ask how I know—when it comes to Bella I just do—that she was mulling over words of her own. But I guess, both of us were trying very hard not to create any friction. The parting hour was closing fast, and I couldn't see the hello's in the near future.

Who knows when—if ever—we will ever meet again?

The thought clutched at my throat so I tried to dismiss it from my mind, instead I twisted my hand to still her fingers, my head ducked down to look at her face.

She saw the question in my eyes and rolled hers, smiled when I laughed at her annoyed expression.

Words—I came to learn—weren't important when we were together, usually, they just complicate things because we would somehow say the wrong thing that would hurt us both, then either her or I would be angry and, well, the story of our relationship.

She combed her hair back from her face and then looked straight into my eyes. "You don't know how rare it is for me to—," I watched her struggle to find the right word,"—_connect_ with other people. _Normal_ people."

Her brows pinched when she saw me wrinkled my forehead. "I've always been different, Jake. I always felt like I'm different, like somehow I don't belong." The words started to drop from her mouth in an awkward spill of words. "Do you know how many friends I kept in touch with in Phoenix? None. Somehow, I'm incapable of forming attachments with…anybody. I love Charlie and Renee but, they're my parents so it doesn't count."

"You're parents don't count." I repeated slowly, she aimed an aggravated look at me when she took offense with whatever look I had on my face.

"You know what I mean. I never had the degree of connection with other people as I had with Edward, with The Cullens."

I looked away at that, knowing that my expression was less than neutral. When I got my face under control, I looked back at her but when our eyes met, I knew I was fooling nobody.

She touched my hand and without much persuasion, my fingers tangled with hers.

"That's why, I was surprised when I connected with you. It wasn't just because being near you made me feel good, but because somehow, I was already attached to you. The connection between us was so vibrant, so elemental that it caught me off guard. You were human—a _normal_ human—but then of course, I found out you were a werewolf." She rolled her eyes. "You see, Jake? I feel more for you, for the werewolves, the vampires than I do for the rest of the normal humans. Maybe, maybe I wasn't meant to be normal."

"That doesn't mean that you have to become a vampire."

The hostility in my voice stung, and she pulled her hand away but I didn't let her so she merely huffed and aimed a glare at me. "I though we were passed this. I thought you understood."

I shook my head. "No, I never said I understood. How can I, Bella? You'll be killing yourself. It'll be the same as suicide."

"No, it's not." This time, when she pulled her hand away, I let her. She slid off the bed and paced the floor while I merely leaned back against the headboard and watched her.

"Yes, it is. The only difference is that you'll still be able to move around. Even more so that you choose to change rather than it was force upon you like the Cullens did."

"...close enough." she muttered but I was too focused on what I came to do to get distracted.

"See? You can't even deny it. Tell me how I can understand it? How I can agree to it?"

"You don't_ need_ to agree to it. I've already made my choice."

"A decision that you made by completely missing out on several sensible steps."

"_Sensible_?" She scoffed and although I understand her way of thinking—since sensibility was a concept that I never quite grasp—I frowned at her.

She glared at me. "You think I haven't thought this through?"

"No, but I think you've talked about it with no one but the Cullens and they probably didn't give out any details, did they?" The sullen look on her expression confirmed my suspicions.

"I can't help with the details, you have to ask them for the gory details later. You need to know all the sides to this changing fiasco before going through with it. Promise me."

She stared at me with a stubborn expression, probably asking who the hell I was to ask that of her.

My eyes didn't waver from hers. "Bella, promise me."

It was when she sighed and rubbed her face that I knew that she remembered who she was talking too.

Jacob Black, her best friend.

"I promise." She muttered.

"And I'm right, aren't I? You haven't talked about this other than with the Cullens?"

The helplessness turned to a frown. "Is this another dig about vampire's mentality or something?"

"It's a question, Bella. It needs an answer."

"No." She sulked. "But, it's not like I can talk about this with anyone."

"You can talk to me."

She gave me a look that was both incredulous and sarcastic. "Yeah, you're a real objective party, Jacob."

"I'm the only one you got."

She looked at me as if she suspected that this was just a big farewell joke but I only stared back, patience etched onto my face. She took her eyes off of my face and started to pace again which told me she was thinking about it. "What does it matter anyway?"

I crossed my arms, not in a proclamation of distance but a statement of intractability. "I bet you get just as defensive as this with them, don't you? You don't want them to think that you're having second thoughts so you make sure that you don't show that you're worried."

She merely paced faster but stole glances at me.

"Am I right?"

She finally stopped and looked at me with suspicious eyes. "Why are you really here, Jacob?"

"I'm here to offer perspective."

"I already know your perspective."

I sighed and meeting her eyes, leaned forward. "Just listen then. Please."

I reached out a hand to her that she took without even seeming to think about it. I looked at her for a while, trying to rearrange the words that I have in my mind into a logical, neutral argument.

_Damn, stupid vampire._

"If he changed you according to plan, it will take you, what, a year, two years to find yourself again? Another two, three years maybe, to develop the slightest bit of resistance for human blood. That you have the Cullens guiding you will probably mean that you will never taste human blood which will mean two things, either you will tolerate human presence better or it will tempt you even more. In short, you won't be able to come back in six years maybe in ten."

She remained mute and unmoving when I tucked her hair behind her ear. "You can still pass off as human in five years at the most but if you still look like this in ten..?"

"So, you will probably never see Charlie again or your mother. You will miss out in their moments and they will certainly miss yours. They'll wonder about you. Oh, you'll call, exchanged emails, but they're going to wonder why there won't be any pictures. Grand children." I tilted my head in question. "Unless, you want to lie to them and make something up?"

She shook her head. "There have been too many lies already."

I nodded, unsurprised. "Then twenty, thirty years—it will be a blink of an eye for you—Charlie, Renée, they will be dead." I stopped when I felt her hands flinch but continued, I was never one to pull punches. "You won't be able to sit by their bedside. They'll plead for you to come but you will have to say no and you will have to live with that. "I paused. "Forever."

I watched her eyes glazed over, knowing that my words gave way to images in her head. I watched her eyes swam with tears. "You won't be able to ease their passing or kiss them goodbye, you won't get to stand by their coffin and grieve for them with those who loved them most. The loss will be…unbearable, even more so because you won't be there to look at what you lost."

"Closure will not be yours."

I felt my eyes tightened at the lone tear that slid over her left cheek but gritted my teeth and continued. "Time; seconds, minutes, days, hours, months, years will mean nothing to you, it will pass and be forgotten just as fast, like…breath. There will be no singular moments for you, no infinite seconds that stretches on to forever because you'll probably be able to do everything…twice."

I pressed my fingers around hers and she returned from her imaginings.

"Then maybe, ninety years from now, you can finally come back, when everyone you love has died and everything you know has changed, but you will remember, it will be clear in your mind, everything you've lost because the years that passed would seem short to you. You will remember the life you've left behind, as if it was just yesterday and you will see the difference of what the years had brought with glaring clarity. And that sense of loss will be…unspeakable."

"The Cullens managed—"

I felt my face that was soft with sympathy harden at their name on her lips. "The Cullens have gone through this for hundreds of years and they didn't _live_ here, not as you did. It didn't matter that you didn't connect with the people around here as strongly as anything you have with the Cullens, the fact still remained that no matter how weak it was, you have a connection to this place. You might not admit to The Cullens about your worries on leaving us and when you're with _him_, it might not feel as much of a sacrifice and that influences your decision."

I stopped and swallowed any kind of heated words and made myself lower my voice. "I know how that is like, pulled between loyalty and what you actually feel."

Her tears were sliding across her cheeks in a continuous streak now and I caught them—one by one—in my palms before I wipe them away and hold her face in my hands. "But Bella, this—right now—there's just you and me. Not werewolf, not the wife of a vampire. This is just Jacob and Bella. Best friends. Talking."

We stared at each other and words, words become necessary as it always did.

I could see it, see the anxiety, confusion and apprehension that tangled up inside, eating away at her and like a dam that has suddenly burst open, those feelings spilled out of her mouth in a torrent of convoluted words that twined over each other in an endless loop.

She whispered them against my shoulder where we sat, propped up against the headboard; she was curled along the side of me, my arm around her shoulders. For hours, her words drowned out the ticking clock and danced around the darkening shadows that edge stealthily over her bedroom.

Her whispered problems ended with a soft weary sigh that seemed to tremble from the top of her head to the tip of her toes

"I _am_ worried, but I love him Jacob. I love him so much that I can't breathe when I am without him. What else can I do?"

I didn't answer because the words that would've came out would be words that didn't come from her best friend, but from Jacob, the boy who'd come to love her.

The seconds trickled into minutes and minutes into hours where we found comfort from each other and find meaning in the lengthening of time.

"Will you call me, Jacob?" I felt her pick on the ragged collar of my T-shirt with restless fingers.

"I probably won't know where you are, Bella."

"I'll call you from wherever I am, just so you'll know. You'll decide whether you want to talk to me."

"You'll forget me."

"I won't. Never."

"Never is a long time when you're an immortal."

She stayed quiet then her voice changed, as if she was sulking. "Maybe _you'll_ forget me. You'll probably live as long as I will."

"It won't come to that."

She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at me. "What do you mean?"

"I don't plan to live forever, Bella. I don't see any reason why I should."

I saw the panic bloom inside her eyes, felt the quickening of her heart against my body.

"Bella. You're hypervelenting."

She slowed her breathing but the panic was still there. "But the pack! The pack needs you."

"As I am to my great grandfather, there will be others to take my place. Maybe Sam's and Emily's kids."

Her eyes started to get blurry again. "_Jake_."

I smiled at her. "It won't be soon, Bella. But I don't believe in immortality. There should be a limit to a life. It's how we learn to honor it, respect it."

She pressed her lips together in a firm line. "Is this a Native American thing?"

I laughed. "It's _my_ thing."

"I can't--." She looked at me, a pained look in her eyes. Maybe now she'll understand what I feel at the thought of her changing. She closed her eyes and I combed my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead, luxuriating in the strawberry scent of her favorite shampoo and waited for her to open her eyes, to regain control over her feelings.

She did after a long minute and stared at my face, her brown eyes focused on mine."Will you tell me, when you've decided?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I want to be here with you when the time comes."

"To say goodbye?"

Her face started to fall again but she fought it. "To say hello." She swallowed any kind of protest she had and laid her cheek on my shoulder again. "But would you want me?"

I brushed my hand up and down the length of her arm, my body tensed at her question. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity—even more so for her than for me—the tension flowed out of my body and I gently touched my cheek to the top of her head as my answer came out in one long breath that shivered in the gathering dark. "I'll always want you, Bella."

The night was a dark closed blanket that covered the world.

When a burning scent closed around me, I opened my eyes and relaxed my muscles that had instinctively bunched and tensed at the realization that danger was near.Vampire danger.

I glance at the brown haired girl that was asleep, curled up against me, her fingers bunched around my T-shirt, her face relax and contented and I can't help but think that this is how she should always look.

This is how she should always be.

This is how her_ life_ should be.

With me

I felt a phantom breeze whispered in the dark and the fine hair on my skin stood up at attention.

I didn't take my eyes off of Bella when he made his presence known by knocking on the door. "How did it go?"

"As expected."

"Did she.."

The words spilled out, fast and uncontained. "I don't know. I didn't ask. I only did what I could. It's still up to her." My eyes were still glued at her face. "Are you going to tell her of our little conversation?"

"No," He paused as if hesitating. "Did you?"

A small smirk curved my lips. "I should just to get you in trouble."

My fingers touched the bracelet that I gave her. "If this works, no matter how short a time she gave herself, she'll hate me."

I sense him where he stood, my instinct screaming for me to attack, to kill. _Will I be like this if the vampire was her? _

"Why?"

"Because I've stopped her from being with you completely."

"Are you saying that you regret doing it?"

"No. I'll do it again." I tangled my hand on the edges of her hair. "It must be nice."

"What?"

"Always being the nice one."

He met my eyes, read the accusation, the conversation that Bella and I had in my mind and nodded slowly. "I didn't envy you this task, that's true."

He straightened from the wall that he was leaning on after a while. "It's time for us to leave."

For a moment, a second, I though to hell with all this. I'll just kill him and get it over with but—she was in my arms; safe, asleep.

Edward looked at me cautiously—probably read my mind—but eased up when I dropped my eyes to Bella. I brushed my hand against her face, taking one last look, and bravely detangled myself away from her.

A small, sharp hiss escaped my gritted teeth when she kept her fingers on my T-shirt and I had to pull it away with a little force. Edward and I froze when she moved and spoke my name as if she was awake.

"Jacob. My Jake."

I chuckled—the sound was both triumphant and hurtful—and eased myself away from her and from the bed.

"Thank you, Jacob"

"I don't _want_ your thanks."

"You have it nonetheless."

I felt my hand started to tremble and clenched them into fists to stop it. The pressure in my chest was staggeringly painful and all I wanted to do was to rip out my heart just to escape from it.

I stopped at the doorway but didn't look back.

"Don't go until I'm out of hearing distance."

"Very well."

As to make things more difficult I had to meet up with Charlie and the Cullens at the front yard, I nodded at them, not stopping for conversation and I guessed, they understood because even Charlie didn't stop me. I took my car and drove a couple miles until the house disappeared from view, stopped and got out of the car, stripped off my clothes and let my body melt into my other one.

It's so easy now that it was tempting to just stay in this form.

_Sam, please._ I saw the pack running along the line, happy with the departure of the Cullens, the brightness of their emotions lashed out at my own dark feelings. _Give me an hour._

I saw the black wolf cantered to a stop and the others followed suit. _Okay, Jacob. We'll leave. _

_Thank you._ The forest was a blur of greens and browns, a kaleidoscope of natural colors that passed me by with every one of my hurried steps.

Embry called out to me in his mind and the sights swerved and changed inside my mind. _You want to be alone?_

_Yes._

I saw Quil nodded through Embry's eyes. _Alright, man. You want us to pick up your car?_

I nearly chuckled at Quil's practicality and that helped, a little. _Yeah, thanks._

Sam was the first to go, then one by one, they disappeared from my mind and all that was left was blissful silence—except for the screaming part of me that was still human. But that can be taken care off.

I just need to run and run and run.


	6. AUGUST

**AUGUST**


	7. SEPTEMBER

**SEPTEMBER**


	8. OCTOBER

**OCTOBER**


	9. NOVEMBER

**NOVEMBER**


	10. DECEMBER

**DECEMBER**


	11. JANUARY

**JANUARY**


	12. Flawed Promises

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Four: Flawed Promises**

_**Chapter Soundtrack: Good Friend by Nine Days**_

_"...I am here, I need to say and I will miss you everyday..."_

**Bella's POV**

--

There was definitely something afoot with the Cullens.

Something weird.

And no, I wasn't talking about their pale complexions, their mind-boggling beauty, or their otherworldly grace. Not even the fact that they were all vampires, or that they were vampires that made it a rule to not hunt humans. No, I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about something else.

I was talking about their sudden inability to exist comfortably around me. For example, Emmet, my—I still can't quite believe it even though it's been six months since my wedding to Edward—brother-in-law who usually liked to hang with me since he thought my ability to stumble over my own two feet hilarious and he very much liked to laugh, hardly ever even looks at me.

It was amazing how they—vampires who had to hide what they were for hundreds of years—were so bad in trying to act _casual_.

While Emmet developed a habit of avoiding me, Esme hovered. She couldn't leave me alone although she hardly had anything to say, she merely fussed and stared. Alice erupted in sporadic bursts of chatter whenever she was around me, her mouth sometimes moving so rapidly that I hardly understood her. It was as if she was afraid to let me have a word in for fear of what I'd say or ask, and since she didn't really need to breathe, those chatters can be really, really long. It was obvious they were hiding something. Something big. And Edward, being Edward, went all bent out of shape and overreacted. Again.

The fact that I wasn't badgering him to tell me about what was going on like usual was because I could pretty much guess what it was about.

Since James, Victoria and Laurent were all dead, that only left one more problem for me.

The Volturi.

I suppressed a shudder at the thought of Aro, Marcus, and Caius and their array of talents and minions. The scene in their lair at Volterra played numerous times in my nightmares with alternate endings. Alice—who has been concentrating on monitoring all their actions since our unfortunate meeting—probably had a vision about them.

I wonder if they were going to check on whether Edward had changed me or not.

It would be pretty obvious that he hadn't.

I—unfortunately—was still human. Helpless. Tasty.

I loosened my fingers that were clenched around the spine of my old copy of Romeo and Juliet as I remembered how I ended up in this predicament.

Jacob Black.

My so-called best friend.

Six months ago, he'd taken a chance on educating me about what I would be missing out on if I changed at the time Edward promised me. He'd opened my eyes to what exactly it was I would have to give up. He had honed in on my insecurities and doubts and fears so accurately that I hesitated, which made Edward insist on a time out. We'd compromised on one and a half years.

Edward seemed relieved and genuinely happy with my decision—which miffed me a little—but I knew it wasn't because he didn't love me, but because he _does_ love me. In the past he'd been adamant about not changing me at all but we were past that now.

I figured Jacob—if he knew—would be ecstatic. But he didn't know, because I didn't tell him. I hadn't even called him to tell him where I was the way I promised to. Why would I do something like that when I knew how much he'd worry and wonder? Because, when I realized what he had done—fed my fear and doubts—I was angry. I even hated him a little because he put all the problems and pain that my mind had tried to push away and placed it smack dab in front of my eyes.

Even now, I felt the familiar anger bubble up to the surface and gritted my teeth.

I knew I was being petty and cruel but I couldn't seem to care at the moment.

But even when I aimed my anger towards him, it still didn't completely stop me from missing him. Sometimes I found myself staring onto the wooden wolf figurine on my bracelet and thought about warm sodas and plastic rooftops. I wondered about my red motorbike, whether he kept it or sold it. I imagined him inside his garage, his big hands flying over metals and tools, tinkering obsessively over something while soft rain pattered down the Earth, imagined him sitting in a circle of bonfire, his russet-colored skin tinted by the warm firelight among his brothers and sister, immersed in culture and realistic legends.

Suddenly I had an image of him standing in the cliffs; tall, strong, graceful. The sea crashed and swirled beneath him as he stared into the distant horizon.

The image was so vivid, so real that it grabbed at my throat.

"Call him, Bella." I jolted in surprise at his velvet, smooth voice and the cold, hard gentle touch on my shoulders. "You're only making yourself miserable as well."

I kept staring out the window and sniffed at him even as my heartbeat shuddered at his touch. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You miss him." He declared in his lovely voice, the tone of his voice easy and matter of fact.

"I called Charlie just two days ago."

His sweet breath fluttered my hair. "It's not Charlie that I'm talking about." I stayed quiet and he sighed a second time. "You are most stubborn about the strangest of things."

I readied myself for the masterpiece that was his face but I still lost my breath when I turned and met his eyes. They were a blazing color of gold, their probing intensity untarnished by the purple bruises under them. But it wasn't only that, it wasn't just his beauty and his perfection that made my heart swell with love and wonder but it was the swirl of emotion in his eyes whenever he looked at me, the gentleness of his touch against my skin. If I was finally granted my immortality, I was sure that I would be perfectly content to spend it just like this, just looking at him, sitting beside him, being with him. It was when I was with him when I felt my anger toward Jacob flared strong and uncontrolled, because he kept me from being able to do just that.

I doubted he did it purposely because of the kindness of his heart.

I scowled at the patient expression of Edward's—my husband's—face. "I don't want to talk about it."

"It's been six months."

My scowl deepened.

He merely smiled and my heart stumbled. "Surely that's long enough to punish him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I twisted away from him, a pout on my face. I could feel his eyes pricking onto the side of my face and I slid my gaze toward him. "What's it to you anyway? I thought you'd be happy."

My brow wrinkled when he mumbled something under his breath but a smile quickly appeared on his face. "But you're not."

He shook his head, a small movement that made the light shift over his marvelous face. I was so easily distracted by him but the words did finally sink in. "Edward, I can't be happier than when I am with you."

"If you were on talking terms with him, you'll be happier."

I merely stared. I knew I should've denied it—him being my husband and Jacob being his one time rival for my heart—but he'd know it would be a lie. Everything was so complicated since I realized that I loved Jacob as well. Although not as much as I loved Edward, it was strong enough that he influenced the twist and turn of my emotions. I rarely grew attached to anybody but once I did, apparently, it was for life—or soon enough, for my existence.

There was understanding in his eyes as he cupped my face as if I was the most delicate of porcelain. "He's a werewolf, Bella."

I stared at him, uncomprehendingly. "You just realized that?"

He chuckled but stared back at me, his features turned serious. "Soon, _you _will be a _vampire_."

I waited for him to elaborate but he kept looking at me as if I should understand. "What are you trying to say, Edward?"

He exhaled, the sweetness of his breath made me struggle to concentrate on my question but I did. "My...dislike for Jacob does not only stem over the hold he has over your heart," He lifted a hand and stroked my cheek when I opened my mouth to deny what he just said. "Not only because he tried his best to win your heart and also not because, he presents a danger to you. Setting all of that aside, it is the fact that he is werewolf and I am vampire that largely played in our mutual animosity."

I still didn't understand and my face told him so. He had a guarded look on his face, as if unsure how I would take this latest lesson of the supernatural. "Bella, when you are a vampire, I suspect it will be the same for you."

I felt the shock flitted and stayed on my face. "You mean, I would want to..."

"Kill him? I'm afraid you will."

"But you and the others managed to--"

"We are old, Bella. We had a lot of time on our hands to practice patience, to exert control over ourselves. Other vampires would not be so...considerate."

I don't know what kind of look he saw on my face, but it made him stretch out his arms and envelop me with them, pulling me closer into his stone embrace. I burrowed inside the circle of his arms and tried to process what he just told me. "Has it always been like that with vampires and werewolves?"

I felt him shake his head on the top of my head. "Not all of us--vampires--have the chance to meet werewolves or something similar, they are a rare breed, born out of mutation rather than—well—how we were made. Usually, as was with the Quileutes, the change is triggered by some kind of danger; some special threat to the group or singular that forced the change." He brushed his ice cold hand--contrasting vividly with the warmth that spilled out of the fireplace—down my back. "It will be difficult for you both, I imagine. With time, he will be able to control the urge and perhaps his feelings for you will also rein in his anger toward our kind. The fact that he is better at it than most his pack members will ensure that I suppose."

I picked at the woolly patterns of his light sweater. "Will I?"

He was quiet a while but he finally answered. "With time, everything is possible." He lifted my chin and gazed into my eyes, the warm gold striking against his pale skin, a faint flush spread on his cheeks from yesterday's hunt. "Soon, you will have nothing but time, but for that you will sacrifice many things that you have taken for granted, such as the ability to co-exist in comfort with Jacob."

My mind turned away from that, trying to spare me the pain of having to think that someday, I would lose the easy connection that I have with Jacob. "I'm just so angry at him."

He smiled the crooked smile that I loved. "Should I point out how illogical your anger is?"

"Anger usually is." I tucked my head back onto his chest. "Try and you'll be sleeping on the couch." I was surprised when he tensed--surely he didn't believe I would banish him from our bed? I peeked at his face with a smile on my face.

The expression on his face was frightening; tight and horrified, his eyes wide with disbelief, staring into an imaginary dot on the wall. I knew that faraway look in his eyes. I'd seen him doing it a million times. He was reading someone's mind, and he didn't like what he was seeing.

My heart was a quick staccato rhythm as I waited for him to finish. Maybe now, he would tell me what was going on. What they were all hiding from me. His form was perfectly still, his hands clenched at the back of my sweater. Somewhere along the way, he'd stopped breathing.

"No." The word was spoken in a harsh and uncompromising tone. I jolted when he snapped his head towards the door and not soon after, Alice and Jasper burst in, their faces tense and horrified.

"Edward, they've—"

"I know."

"What are we going to do?"

I saw Jasper press a hand on Alice's, his golden tone eyes flickered to me. Alice made a sound of impatience at the back of her throat but closed her mouth and stared at Edward reprovingly.

"What is it? What happened?"

Jasper and Alice glanced at Edward who stared back in stony silence.

"Don't even think of lying. I already know that something was up. You guys have been hiding something from me, what is it?" I gave up on Jasper and Alice as they avoided looking at me. I looked up at Edward. "Edward, what is it?"

He maintained his eye contact with Alice and Jasper as if he was silently willing them to hell at the moment. "Edward, you promised that there would be no secrets. I'd let you get away with it then, but not now. Tell me."

When he didn't budge, my temper flared and I detangled myself out of his arms. Well, at least, I tried to. His arms were iron around me but I managed a small space between us. I looked at Alice and glared at her. "Alice."

She blinked at my voice but still stared at Edward.

"Alice, look at me."

Slowly, her tawny gaze met mine.

"Is it the Volturi? Are they going to check up on me?"

Alice shifted her weight, her expression looked a bit guilty. "No."

"No, what?"

"They're not coming here."

"But it are the Volturi?"

Again, they exchanged looks and I sighed in aggravation. "Guys, come on. Is it others? Will there be other vampires--non vegetarian-- that will come here?"

Alice scowled at Edward. "She needs to know, Edward."

"No, she doesn't. Not until we have more solid evidence."

"If something happens, she'll never forgive us for not telling her, Edward."

I felt the blood drained from my face, my vision wavered. "It's Charlie, isn't it? Renee? Something happened to one of them. Or both?"

Edward turned me towards him, his face fierce. "No, it's not that. Your parents are alright."

"Then what is it? Is there any other supernatural beings that I need to know about?" I twisted my head from Edward's grasp and looked questioningly at Alice. "What did you see?"

She met my eyes, her eyes tight. "Nothing."

"Alice, I've been up against three psychotic vampires who were intent on killing me, a pack of reckless teenage werewolves and the Volturi. I think I can handle whatever bad news you have. _Tell __me._"

Edward was a still and silent stone against me. A growl--low and threatening--climbed out his throat. "_No_, Alice."

Alice didn't even spare him a glance. "You know I've been tuning into the Volturi."

I nodded encouragingly, ignoring the sharp hiss that came out of Edward's gritted teeth. "They're going to come here?"

She shook her head. "No. I saw nothing."

I stared at her, trying to figure out what she just said. "You mean, they're still undecided about it?"

She stepped closer to me, Jasper who was beside her sent Edward cautious and warning looks. "Bella, you're not listening. I saw _nothing_."

I frowned, still not understanding. "How can that be? The only time you see nothing is when it has something to do with—" The realization came crashing down like a flood, the little things that I've noticed about their behavior along the weeks, the conversation that Edward and I just had. Suddenly, I had a hard time breathing. "The werewolves," I breathed. "Jacob."

Edward's hands were cold against my arms, even through the thick sweater I was wearing. "We called Charlie and they were fine, Bella. It's nothing to worry about."

"What do you mean, there's nothing to worry about?" I struggled against the hysteria that was clawing up my throat. "Are you saying that they're going to come to Forks, to find the wolves?"

Alice shook her head, her face devastated. "I don't know. At first, I got the impression that they were going to come here, to check on you but then somehow the conversation turned into what happened the last time the Volturi came to Forks. What Jane, Dmitri and Felix saw, the destruction that they thought only we caused. They were impressed and a little bit worried about the number and strength of our coven."

Jasper stepped forward. "I don't think they even know about the wolves, Bella."

"But if you suddenly can't see, that means they're bound to meet, right? Maybe, someone will be sent to Forks and the wolves will certainly fight him or her. We have to warn them. No, we have to go back."

"No."

I turned around at the hard, uncompromising tone in Edward's voice. "What do you mean no?"

"That's exactly what I mean. The Volturi won't be so reckless. They only deal in vampire matters and above all else, they covet our invisibility."

Jasper stood beside Edward. "That's true, Bella. Perhaps, they will get curious but they will hesitate upon involving themselves with other...creatures."

I stared at them, at their pale, calm, beautiful features...and didn't believe what they said for even a second. The panic was too strong, the fear too huge, blocking their reasonable argument and somehow I couldn't help but think—albeit a little too unfairly—what do _they _care about the werewolves? They were _my _friends that were going to be harmed. The werewolves were nothing to them.

What do they care about overgrown reckless werewolves?

I could see it in my head, how Paul and Seth would be so excited with the prospect of hunting the visiting emissary or emissaries, totally oblivious of the extent of the Volturi's power. Jacob knew about the Volturi, but just the little I told him. I didn't tell him about the tracker, Dmitri, or Jane's horror of a talent, or of Felix's blood lust—never mind Aro, Caius or Marcus.

Sam, Jared perhaps, would be vigilant, cautious, but all of them tend to lose their heads in the heat of the moment and if Jacob thought that they were after me, I didn't want to think how he would react to that.

The image of Jacob's helpless, unmoving body was still fresh in my thoughts, carved into the hollowed part of my mind by the sharp, ragged edges of my pain. I've thought more than once over these last few months—whenever I found myself not angry at him—that I never wanted to see him like that again but now, I just wanted to see him period.

"We have to go back." It was embarrassing how my voice broke at the end. I couldn't help but feel like a child every time I have my fits and emotional episodes. I felt Alice by my side, her presence cold and steady as was her hand on mine.

Edward's lips firmed. "We can't, Bella."

"Why not? We can say we've come for a visit." I gripped Alice's fingers tightly, trying to hold onto my composure so I could argue my side. "If it's about the danger, you said there _is _no danger."

"For the _wolves_. Having you and the Volturi in the same area is pushing our luck." He reached for me but I merely stared at his hand. His ocher eyes tightened, hurt. "Be reasonable, Bella. What good would it do if we go there?"

"I can see them, that's one. Didn't you say that I shouldn't take my current humanity for granted and make up with Jacob?"

Jasper raised an eyebrow at Edward who ignored him.

His eyes darkened when they landed on mine. "You very well know that's not what I meant. We don't need to fly down there to know that he's safe. We only need to ask Charlie--"

"How long have you known?" I asked him, though the words sounded more like accusation. My fear and worry evolved into anger and hurt as the subtle hints and signs of their actions, their reactions, came to the surface.

He blinked slowly, as if trying to choose his words carefully.

"No more lies, no more evasiveness, Edward. Tell me, how long have you known?"

As if they sensed the tension of the moment, Rosalie, Emmet, Esme and Carlisle entered the living room of our not-so-new home—their eyes tense and serious—a large, cozy, cottage-like house that, even with the snow outside, looked warm and inviting.

"Edward. You promised me that you'll tell everything." The jerky movement of my hand made the bracelet seem to burn with the firelight, the memory of Jacob sliding it around my wrist--his large fingers handling the delicate clasp more easily than I expected—flitted in my mind, stinging my eyes with tears.

I saw the hurt in Edward's eyes, how he realized that he'd hurt me and was also hurting because of it. The rush of love I felt for him eased my anger and that—strangely—stung. But what he did was wrong. He shouldn't have hid something of this importance from me. I don't want to always be behind his back as he protect me, I want to stand by his side. And especially not when my safety sacrificed others. "How long, Edward?"

"Two weeks."

A gust of breath escaped my lungs. "Two weeks? Jacob and the pack could've been in danger for two weeks and you didn't tell me?" Anger and hurt left a bitter, sharp taste in my tongue. I tore out my hand from Alice and stared at the faces of my family with damp, angry eyes. "_All _you?"

Esme and Emmet looked chastened while Rosalie looked elsewhere. Carlisle looked at Edward who looked at me with tortured eyes.

"I'm going back."

Edward stepped closer to me, his hand in front of him with his palms up, a gesture of peace and—I gritted my teeth—pacifying. "Bella, love-"

"_I'm _going back. Even if I have to go alone." For the first time since I knew them, since I knew him, I turned my back and walked away.


	13. A Promise Between Friends

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Four: The Promise between Friends**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Home to Me by Josh Kelly**

_**"..it's like the pain that never goes away...and it always start today..cause you are home to me..."**_

**Bella POV**

I ignored the indulgent look on Alice's face when I popped my head out of the open window of Carlisle's black Mercedes. I knew my eyes were wide and bright as I drew in the sounds and sights of the place that I once called home.

I breathed in the fresh cool air deeply, the scent of rain was still in the air as well as the smell of damp Earth—everywhere I look—the forests, the ground, everywhere—white was the most dominant color but fresh green was starting to show.

It wasn't so different from Alaska except for the number of trees.

I never thought I'd miss it so much.

Forks, Washington.

After our departure six months ago, I was back again.

If only our return was under happier circumstances.

The first blush of excitement was fading fast and was replaced by the anxiety and the nerve-crumbling-worries that filled my mind most of the time it took for us to arrive since I found out Alice's latest premonitions.

Even thinking about it made my palms sweaty.

I jumped when Alice's ice cold hand held mine. "If you keep pulling at it like that, you'll break it, then you will _really_ have a reason to be upset."

I blinked then looked at my hand that was tangled on the bracelet that Jacob gave me more than half a year ago. The small detailed wooden wolf figurine peeked at me from between my restless fingers. I stopped pulling at it but kept my hand on it, trying to find comfort in the solidness of the little charm that he had made with his large but surprisingly nimble hands.

Jacob Black, my best friend who I haven't seen or called or mentioned since the day I left.

Back when I was being petty, stupid, selfish like I always was and I found myself wishing if only my stupidity and selfishness didn't hurt others and only myself.

Again.

You'd think that I would learn.

"He'll be alright, Bella." Alice assured me.

I shrugged off her comforting hand from my shoulders. "You don't know that. You can't even see him." I snapped. Her golden eyes stared at me with hurt and remorse in their golden depths but right now, I didn't care.

I didn't want to be comforted and I was still mad at her for keeping everything from me.

I thought that we were passed all that, passed all the secrets.

Guess, I thought wrong.

"You can stay mad at me but give Edward a break. He was only—"

"He _promised_." I stubbornly looked outside the windows where moody clouds rolled at the sky in warning of a heavy incoming of either snow or rain. "He promised no more secrets."

I noticed Carlisle—who was driving—exchanged glances with Esme who sat beside him. I knew I was being stubborn but their son was hardly innocent.

Alice sighed. "Bella, you should understand by now the inner workings of Edward's mind. He surely didn't mean to be secretive."

"It doesn't excuse his behavior." I stifled a wince at the sulky tone in my voice but as we got closer to the town, my anger simmered again, making me feel self righteous and I held on to it. I felt the dull edges of the wolf figurine dug into my palm and I focused on that so I'd remembered what I was so angry about.

I have a tendency to lose focus when he was near me. But not this time, this time, he went too far.

"There was _no_ excuse. No excuse for him _not_ to tell me. He _knew_ I would have wanted to know but he kept it from me."

It made things even worse because I had to find out on my own. That night, when we were alone, I unleashed the biggest tantrum I had ever unleashed on anyone least of all him.

Even today, I banished him from my presence so he had to ride with Rosalie and Emmet.

But I knew—knew for certain—that I was in the right this time and my anger was a result of hurt and fear. Fear not for myself but for the people I had came to love. People that had fought for me, hurt for me.

Hurt _because_ of me.

No, this time, I couldn't _not_ be angry at him. I realized that my anger was in no danger of dissipating any time soon.

"Bella." Carlisle's even tempered velvet voice called out to me. "It's not all his fault. We all decided to not tell you until we were sure."

"Not _me_. I wanted to tell you." Alice piped out beside me, trying to return herself into my good graces. "_Immediately_."

"Thank _you_, Alice." I spared her a small smile before returning to Carlisle. "It's not the same, Carlisle. _You're_ not my husband."

Esme's laugh filled the car as she twisted to look at me. "Far be it for me to speak against my sons, Bella, but from a wife's point of view, I do agree with you."

"You're not helping, Esme." Carlisle chided his wife.

Esme's golden eyes shifted to her husband. "I told him that he should tell Bella right away, even Rosalie did, but you men wanted to hoard the secret all for yourselves."

Jasper—sitting on the other side of Alice—groaned when I leaned forward and eyed him. "He made me do it."

Alice elbowed her one true love. "Some brother you are."

He lifted a blond eyebrow. "What about you? You threw Edward to the wolves-"He closed his mouth when he saw whatever kind of expression that I had on my face. He grimaced. "Sorry, Bella. Bad choice of words."

I look out the window again when I felt my eyes started to heat, trying to ignore the whispers that Alice traded with Jasper. The first drop of rain started to touch my face and I was suddenly freezing so I reluctantly close the window.

I was caught surprise by the immediate sensation of claustrophobia—not from the closed space—but from the emotions that was whirling inside me with nowhere to go. The agonizing worry that was eating away at my insides, the guilt that made my stomach felt like lead and an overwhelming need that made my fingers tremble with the force of it.

Suddenly—out of nowhere—a rush of warmth and well being washed over me and I knew where it came from. I snapped my eyes towards Alice and the boy beside her. "Jasper, knock it off."

Alice pouted and Jasper shifted his eyes to the front and the calming sensation disappeared, leaving me restless and worried. I needed to feel this way. Consider it my punishment for treating Jacob the way I did, if the shoes were in the other place, I know I would go _crazy_.

_Oh, Jacob, _I called out in my mind.

I knew he was alright, a phone call to Charlie took care of my nightmares but the threat was still there.

The danger was still there.

Still coming.

And to think of the days that I was mad at him, angry and resentful because he'd somehow made me see how much I would sacrificed by being a vampire—not that I'm _not_ going to be a vampire, I will—just…not now.

He fed my doubts with his 'perspectives' as he called them and I hated him a little which was stupid because all he was guilty of was being a good friend. He was just taking care of me—like always—and I hated him for it. I even neglected to call him, tell him that I've arrived or of my decision to delay my change. I knew that he would wonder, knew that he would toss and turn over whether I've changed or not and I let him because I was so _angry_.

But that didn't mean Edward had any right to do what he did.

No matter how much I groused about Jacob, Edward should have known that I wanted to know if something happened to him. Or if there was a chance of something happening to him like the one that he knew and kept secret from me for two weeks.

_Two_ weeks!

I shuddered at the thought of what could happen in those two weeks.

If something happened to Jacob, to Quil and Embry. To Phil and Jared and Leah. To Sam, Seth and Emily then the twins. To Billy.

And if anything happen to them, I knew something could happen to Charlie, too, because he was always hanging out around Billy's since I was gone—possibly mooching off of Billy and I guess, with Jacob gone so much with the pack, Billy was probably glad for the company.

To think that the Volturi would take an interest in a small pack of werewolves!

The Volturi.

Even the name was able to make me break into a cold sweat.

The fact that Alice can only see one side of the problem—only the Volturi's—set my teeth on edge. Especially, when she started to have flickers of…nothing that told us the vampire council has actually deciding to involve themselves with the werewolves.

It was easy to know what kind involvement that would be.

Images of Caius, Aro and Marcus—their chalky skin, their unnatural grace, their still demeanor was still vivid in my mind. The soldiers, the enforcers that they had—I couldn't imagine the pack fighting all of them. Not to mention Dimitri and Felix and Jane with her monstrous gift.

I remembered the agony I felt, the sheer pain that I experienced when I found out that Jacob was hurt—like a piece of me was dying—I think I wouldn't survive feeling like that all over again.

I don't know how they know about the werewolves, maybe Jane, Felix and Dimitri noticed something on their last visit—I suppressed a shiver at the thought—but if they did, why now? Why wait all this time?

There must be a trigger for their sudden decision.

"Bella, we're here."

I jumped out of the car as fast as I could and ran into the Cullen house to pounce at the nearest phone—Esme had opened the house and took care of everything when Alice saw us coming back to Forks. I pressed Jacob's number by heart and waited impatiently for someone to pick up.

My breath hitched when I heard Billy's voice, suddenly noticing how similar their tone of speech was.

"Billy. It's Bella."

Astonishment rippled in his voice. "Bella, how are you?"

"Good. I'm good. Um, is Jacob there?"

He went quiet awhile and I wondered whether he was trying to figure out a lie to tell me. Was Jacob angry at me because I didn't call?

"Sorry, you missed him. He's out with the others."

"Can you give me directions on how to get there?" I ignored the choking noise that—without even looking I knew—came from Edward.

"Wait. You're home?"

Home. The words slid so naturally from him as if I'd left on a trip instead of moved.

"Yeah, I'm home. So, where's Jacob?"

It took me a long minute to realize why he was hesitating because my mind was immediately filled up with wonderings about whether Jacob didn't want to see me. "Billy, I'm still human."

It's as if I could see his face brightened with pleasure. "Oh, in that case." He mentioned a place that wasn't far from where Jacob and I used to ride our motorcycles. I caught myself again, wondering what had become of mine.

Did he sell it?

"Okay, thanks, Billy. If you meet Emily, say hi for her to me."

"I would. Why don't you come over, she'd love to see you."

I hesitated but was determined to ignore the vampire that I knew was listening into our conversation. "Maybe later today."

"I'd love to see Charlie's face when he sees you. He misses you very much."

I winced. "I have to take care of some errands first. Don't tell him, yet. I want to make it a surprise."

"Sure, sure."

A smile curved my lips at the familiar phrasing. I ended the conversation and turned to my family who stood and sat in various places, their faces turned toward me though their eyes were on Edward who stood with his back to me.

I ignored his stillness. I was—amazingly—still angry at him so I better get out while I can. I didn't feel like thinking about his feelings especially since he didn't think at all about mine.

"Carlisle." I aimed my stare at Carlisle who sat on the sofa with Esme, their hands linked. Carlisle met my eyes with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes, Bella."

"Can I borrow the Mercedes?"

"You want to visit Charlie?" I gave Emmet a baleful glare—as if they haven't all been listening to my phone call—but he merely grin, even when Rosalie elbowed him at his side. He winked when I continued to glare at him—reminding me of somebody else that rarely took my anger seriously. It made my anger rose even more.

"No, I'm going to see the pack."

I kept my eyes at Carlisle when he sneaked a look at Edward, that made me feel even angrier. I'm not his pet, I can go anywhere I want. "Of course, I can just call Charlie to pick me up."

Carlisle sighed and handed out the keys for me.

"Thank you."

Edward didn't move until almost passed him. "Bella."

I kept my eyes straight, it was easier to ignore whatever he had to say that way. "Don't talk to me. I'm still angry at you."

"I didn't want to worry you. There was still a chance—"

"Do you take chances with _my_ life?"

"Of course not." He sounded as if he was offended.

"Well, I also don't take chances with the lives of the people that I care about."

"Didn't we already establish that they are alright?" He pleaded and I looked to the side when he ducked his head down to meet my eyes.

"Yes, we did." True, Edward was no human, but he was still a _man_. "But, it's not that."

"Then, what is it? And why won't you look at me?"

"You broke your promise to me." And remembering that tiny detail made me angry all over again.

He was quiet for a while, as if he had trouble taking it all in. "That's all?"

"That's _all_?" I whipped my head towards him and for the first time since I met him, the quickening of my heartbeat was not the result of looking at his beautiful face.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet winced while Rosalie, Alice and Esme rolled their eyes at Edward's comment.

"What do you mean, '_that's all'_?"

But he merely stared at me with those mesmerizing golden eyes as if he was trying—and failing as always—to read my mind. "The fact that Jacob is involved doesn't influence you whatsoever?"

I tried very hard not to stamp my foot. "Of course it does. And bringing up Jacob is not helping your current situation, Edward. You _know_, you know that he and the pack was in danger. You know how much they mean to me but you kept it a secret anyway and by doing that you broke your promise to me." I narrowed my eyes. "Did the fact that Jacob is involved influence _you_?"

The beautiful curve of his lips firmed in a straight line. For a minute, I though he was going to lie. Of course it influenced his decision. "Yes, because I know you'd be unreasonable like this. They're _not_ in any danger."

"_Yet_. But they will if anyone of them meet with one of the Volturi, perhaps, you guys are right, that the Volturi is just curious and they will not bring any harm but you can't be sure. The Volturi might take forever to decide but they eventually do, you said that yourself."

He stared at me for a long while. "I've apologized." He reminded me.

I looked at him, at all the glory of his face and even though the anger that I felt threaten to burn a path and everything that stood in my way, the love I felt for him was still able to shine through, so I look away. "This time, it isn't enough."

"_Bella_."

"No." I leaned away from him.

"At least let me drive you to the line."

"No." I started walking but he followed me easily which didn't help my temper.

"Bring a cellphone?"

"Call Billy if you need to." I snapped and just for the hell of it, added, "I'll be out late. Don't wait up."

I heard Emmet chuckled at my parting words.

I'm glad someone was enjoying himself.

Finally, as I was alone, I let loose all of my anger, my worry, and my guilt as I stepped on the gas. The vampires were a bad influence on me since it seemed that their love for speed had rubbed off on me.

But since I can't walk out of a car crash—yet—I forced my foot to ease up and concentrated on the road instead of the tempest inside me that rode on my insecurities. Since I've known about the Volturi's interest, they haven't left me alone, there was always someone with me. Edward was probably afraid that I'd get myself on a plane which I did threaten to do when they assured me that I didn't need to do that, that perhaps Edward and Emmet can check on the situation themselves.

I scoffed, remembering _that_ conversation. As if I would let them go and leave me behind, wondering, worrying.

The helpless and still image of Jacob's injured body had stayed with me all through the journey—more real, more vivid—because I _had_ seen him like that. And the vision appeared in and out of my mind that I stayed in a continued state of worry over him.

The car stopped with a loud, obnoxious screech when a sudden epiphany hit me like a freight train; that this must be how he feels at the thought of me changing.

The sudden realization made my vision swam with tears and my fingers shake. I gripped the steering wheel so hard that my fingertips whiten but it still shook. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel to catch my breath, a wave of understanding on how he'd behave all this time smothered me.

"Oh, Jacob."

I took a very deep breath, trying to keep myself together, to swallow my impending mania. I need to see him, feel him, to _know_ that he's alright.

With shaking hands I changed gears and drove myself toward Jacob, knowing I won't be able to do anything else until I was with him.


	14. All in A Promise

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Six: All in a Promise**

_**Chapter Soundtrack: Love Song Requiem**_

_"..this love will take my everything…one breath…one touch will be the end of me.."_

A/N: Oh, and all of these chapters are beta read by Tellurium (owe you big, girl). Since I tend to add some words and paragraphs in the last moment, all mistakes are mind.

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**Jacob's POV**

_Damn it_, Quil cursed when I appeared out of nowhere and shouldered him hard enough for him to stumble. _Where the hell did you come from?_

I grinned at him. _You're so loud, man. I can hear you a hundred miles away_.

_I'm not_, he protested. I dodged his muzzle that was threateningly close to my shoulder.

_Yes, you are._ A huge black wolf ran alongside us, its eyes patient and kind but firm. _You should practice more on keeping your thoughts to yourself, Quil._

_I _do_ practice, Quil protested. _A low whine appeared from deep within his chest.

_Yeah, between babysitting baby Claire,_ the female voice infused with the other whispery voices and images in our heads.

_Ha, ha. Leah, _Quil panted when we cantered to a stop, his tongue lolling out of his mouth._ I'm not seeing _you_ do any better. Even Seth is better than you._

We felt Leah's irritation as if it was our own. _It's certainly easier for him. Seth has much depth as—_

_Hey, _Seth protested. Leah made a show of looking all around her before looking to her brother as if she didn't see him there before.

_Oh, hey, Seth._ She made little cooing noises that were specially designed to aggravate her brother, _there's my little brother._

Ripples of laughter flitted along our minds.

This was the time when I didn't mind being a werewolf, when I didn't mind sharing thoughts, though that was probably because I was getting good at keeping them from getting too deep into mine. It wasn't like I was able to block them away—that was impossible—but at least, I could keep the others from skimming through the surface so I could have some privacy. So I can have a small measure of peace in my head where I can dump all of my secrets and shames and other things that I'd rather not share with anybody.

Everyone would have one or two of those.

I waited until everyone passed me—Sam taking point—so I can take the rear with the younger ones in front of me. Being a werewolf was starting to be second nature to us all. It probably helped that we all tried to not get into each other's head, or that if we did, we shut our mouths about whatever it was that we saw.

Leah was actually contributing to that unspoken rule.

Our pack was starting to function the way it should.

I listened to them talk inside my head, tuning them out until it became background noise, the same as the chirp of birds and the roar of the wind that rushed through our ears.

Our paws pushed us over the snow without any difficulty, letting pieces of white fly into our faces and bodies where they melted to dampen our fur.

It was uncommonly sunny today and the light dropped from the sky to bounce on the snow and ice that it looked as if we were running on crushed stars.

I felt a smile stretch my muzzle as a feeling of overwhelming content entered my heart. Here I was, with my family, my brothers and sister, experiencing what no normal human could ever have.

The freedom that came from shedding most of our humanity… and complications along the way.

I took a deep breath…and lost it immediately as my sensitive nose caught a cloyingly sweet scent that burned my nose and raised my hackles. My muscles bunched and a low, vicious growl erupted from my chest. The others lifted their heads when I stopped and sniffed the incoming wind. They also caught the scent and sharp snarls lashed out of each one of them, but I tensed even more when I realized there was something strange with the scent. It wasn't thick enough, sweet enough and there was something else.

_Wait,_ I cautioned my pack. _Sam._

Sam met my eyes and cantered to where I was standing. He sniffed the air for a moment and nodded, correcting my suspicion. _It's human._

_It can't be a victim. _Leah whipped her head toward us. _There's no blood._

Quil clawed at the ground. _Maybe they heard us before they could feed so they just killed them._

Jared let out a low growl. _There's only one, and it sounds like the person is moving._

Sam's ears flickered back. _She. A girl. She's yelling something._

Seth looked at where the scent was coming strong, his head cocked to the side. _She's looking for someone?_

A wave of fresh wind hit my nose and I scrunched it up…then felt my heart stop as I realized what was strange about the scent.

Strawberries.

_Bella_.

I must've thought her name out loud because the others instantly whipped their heads toward me.

_She's still human._

_Jacob, wait. It could be a trap._ Sam planted himself in front of me, as did Quil and Paul. _Even if she _is_ still human, the vampires might be with her._

_She's alone. And this is our land. They won't pass through without permission_.

_You don't know that_, Paul interrupted. Snarls started to slide out his razor teeth. _They might be waiting, using her as bait to start a war with us_.

_Why the hell would they do that? Besides, Bella would never allow it. _

Jared shook his head. _Jake, she might not be a vampire, but she's one of them now. Who do you think she'll choose? Her family, or a bunch of mutant dogs?_

_She's not like that, she doesn't think of us that way_. I knew there was some sense to what they were saying. I should calm down. I should think this through. I should—but my heart wasn't listening and my little human side was slowly losing control.

I was a werewolf now, mostly driven by instinct—and my instinct told me to run to her, go to her, be with her.

_Move. _I ordered my brothers and Jared and Paul _had_ to move.My heart was beating a bruise on my ribs at the thought of her so near and my ears flickered when I heard her voice.

"_Jake_! Ja…"

It was when I realized that she was calling out to _me_ that a loud, deep growl ripped from my chest.

My eyes glinted sharply toward Sam. _Sam, move out of the way._

Sam didn't move though he didn't act like he considered me as a threat, but his eyes were focused on me like he was reading my mind.

Which he probably was.

_He'll order me to stay. To not see her_, the thought escaped me and joined the hushed thoughts of the others. They were busily thinking of other things, trying not to add up to the tension. Their eyes watched Sam and I stare at each other—hardly breathing—as if they were afraid what would happen if they moved so much as an inch.

I heard that she was getting closer, her footsteps echoing in my head, her voice weaving through my thoughts and gripping at my throat to flow down my heart. I tried to think of something else but my thoughts were on just one thing.

One word.

_BellaBellaBellaBellaBellaBella._

Her name repeated inside my mind to the beat of my quickening heart, and they all knew it and shared in the distressing mixture of hope, trepidation and pain.

Mostly pain.

_Sam, please_, I begged him.

I saw Embry and Quil stare at me, feeling what I was feeling, thinking what I was thinking.

The memories of our long walks, the feel of our hands against each other's, the weight of her head on my shoulder…

How torturous these six months had been without her.

If I had'nt been so concentrated on her voice, I wouldn't have been surprised when Leah stepped up. _Sam, let him go. She really is alone._

Sam looked at Leah for a long moment, long enough for her to step back from where she stood between us, then, finally, he stepped to the side.

Sam hadn't fully cleared the way before I shot off like a bullet that came out of a gun. As I got closer, I noticed the tension in her voice and it made me run even faster. I still had the presence of mind to phase back—not that I thought she'd mind seeing my wolf form but I'd rather meet with her again with my human side—put on the black cutoffs that I pulled off its place from my left calf, a matter that took only seconds, and rushed off again.

It was as if I could sense her grief as it was my own and I smelled the tears on her skin.

The desperation in her voice pushed my feet faster and I propelled myself harder against the ground as I loped on the treacherous snow, through the tangles of vines and tree branches. Something gashed at my cheekbone, but that was something that happened so often now that I hardly registered the stinging pain.

"JACOB!"

I burst through a tangle of shrubs—my heart beating fast inside my chest because of the urgency and prospect of seeing her again, rather than because of the exertion—my eyes already searching for her silhouette even before my feet hit the ground.

When they did, time skidded to a stop. Earth missed a revolution.

I watched her as the seconds lengthened, watched each separate tendril of her long brown hair—longer now—whip around her slim body as she turned, an action that should have taken seconds seemed like a lifetime to me.

Like all the corny lines in all the corny movies, my heart _did_ stop. So did time—before it rushed in with a roaring sound not unlike that of a waterfall in my ears.

Air was sucked out of my lungs because the sight of her—still _human_—standing before me as real as the sunlight that highlighted her—non-glowing—face hit me like a punch to the stomach.

I stared at her until I was able to find my voice. "Bella?"

Her brown eyes—blurred by tears—lightened when they met mine. "Jake! Jacob! You're alright." Usually, I instigated any kind of touching between us, but she launched herself upon me, her arms like iron bands around my neck, gripping me to her as if she was afraid I'd disappear, mumbling my name over and over again against my neck.

It wasn't until I noticed she was trembling that her strange greeting registered in my mind.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I tugged her arms away from my neck and held her face in my hands; her brown eyes were red and swimming with tears. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

A suspicion niggled at the back of my head, a suspicion that didn't need any facts to make it rise to the surface. "Is it the bloodsuckers? Did they hurt you?"

She shook her head vehemently. Fire burst in her eyes at my accusation and she opened her mouth—probably to chastise me—but she was sobbing so hard.

"Did the Cullens come with you?"

She nodded and I turned to look over my shoulder at the two bear-size wolves that shoved out of the bushes. The silver one nodded and turned to where it came from and retreated with the younger ones; they needed to warn Sam about the Cullens' arrival, to make sure no one crossed our lands.

"Is something else coming?"

She nodded, still trying to rein in her emotions. Her face was red and blotchy, and her shoulders shook. I couldn't decipher the cascade of emotions that stormed inside of me at that moment, and although the arrival of the Cullens meant danger was imminent, I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips.

As if in answer, the panicked look in her eyes faded, to be replaced by relief. I lifted a hand to cup her cheeks gently—she looked so tiny in her thick jacket—and simply stood there, staring into her brown eyes. My heart expanded until it felt like it would burst when a small smile broke over her trembling lips.

"Welcome home, Bella."

Finally, the tears spilled over, and she wrapped her arms around my waist in a gesture that was as familiar as it was welcomed. And so we stood amidst the golden sunlight and melting snow, immersed in each other's presence as we always were when we were together.

It took a while but after I made a few duty-bound comments about the sickeningly sweet smell and made a great show of trying to clear the air with turning the air conditioner up, I finally feigned reluctance on entering the Mercedes—vampire or not, I have to admit they have good taste in cars. I cranked up the heat when Bella started to shiver and we just sat there, looking at each other, noting the difference that time had marked on us. I noted that her hair was longer, but other than that, she didn't look any different. Her soft brown eyes were on my face and I smiled at the total concentration I saw there.

I didn't really want to break the feeling of contentment that I felt, but I know that Sam would want a clear and concise story of what was coming. "You look tired, Bella."

She swiped her hair from her face, blinked her eyes a few times before answering. "It's been a long couple of days."

I raised an eyebrow. "A couple of _days_?"

My heart beat strongly when a flush rose up her throat and bloomed in her cheeks. I twisted and leaned back against the door so I could face her and apparently my stare made her discomfiture even worse.

"How long have you known?"

Her fingers were doing a nervous dance along her bracelet and her face tilted down as she mumbled. "A couple of days."

"Hm," I waited until she took a peek at my face in curiosity. "How long..?"

The flush that resulted from that question looked painful. "Longer than I did."

"When is he ever going to start telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

She pinned a glare at me, her mouth settled to a pout. "He meant well."

"_Sure_," I agreed. "He was merely protecting you. As if anyone of us had ever hurt you." I couldn't help the bitterness that seeped through my act of nonchalance. "We're still 0 to 1 there."

Her eyes turned dark. "Jacob."

I waved a hand in the air. "Never mind. Sorry, my bad. Forget about that." I smiled into her eyes, putting all of my joy and happiness in seeing her into it and as always—I noticed she was a sucker for that smile—she smiled back. "It's good to see you, Bella."

Unexpectedly, her smile shrunk and she started to fiddle with her bracelet. "Really?"

I was surprised by her disbelief. "Yeah, of course."

Her eyes searched for something in my face, as if she doubted my sincerity.

"What is it?"

"You're not angry with me?"

My brows wrinkled, my confused expression stared back at me from the tinted window behind her. "Why should I be?"

Her shoulders hunched and her expression turned darker—not in anger but with shame before she mumbled under her breath. "I didn't call."

My fingers tapped on my knee before I brought it up to my newly cut hair—winter was over—and shrugged. "I sort of figured _you_ were angry with me."

She lifted her face at that to stare at me with surprise.

I looked at her face for a while. "You were, weren't you?"

Her shoulders hunched again. "Yes."

"Don't sweat it, Bella." My eyes slid away from hers. "It's not like I waited around for you to call."

She winced and I chuckled as I reached for her hand—the one with my bracelet on it. "Really, don't sweat it. You're here, that's the only thing that matters."

"You're easily pleased."

I made a sound at the back of my throat and kept my voice light. "Not really. I just take what I can get."

Her eyes peeked at me but didn't comment when she saw that my eyes were on her.

"So, you're still human."

She glared at me obviously telling me to leave it alone.

I grinned and she sighed, knowing that I wouldn't leave it alone.

"Yes, I am. Obviously."

"Feel old, yet?"

Her hand smacked my shoulder but I shifted in my seat and she lost her balance, falling right into my arms. I laughed when she groused at me, trying to struggle out of my playful embrace. "Did you miss me, Bella?"

I tried, really I did, to make the question as casual as possible, but instead my voice deepened and cracked. My arms tightened around her, as if I was trying to entangle her forever in them. I felt my heart tatter when she tensed and pulled away like she always did when I pushed too hard, too fast.

I kept my head down, certain that my face was far from casual, far from controlled. My hands fell away from her as if they could crumble away with my heart.

When her small hands touched my face, I looked up in surprise.

Her eyes were vulnerable but strong as was the hold she had on my face. "Jacob Black, I will _always_ miss you. No matter what kind of idiocy I had inside my head, even when I was _so_ mad at you, I still did."

When she smiled at me, I smiled back, accepting the surge of aching pleasure and bittersweet pain that filled a heart that was left empty these last six months.

"I missed you, too."

My heart overflowed when I saw the pleasure bloom slowly in her eyes. "Anyway, back to business. What's coming? Is it like last time?"

Bella shook her head, her expression turned worried and anxious. "No, Jacob. This is nothing like last time. It's much, much worse."


	15. The Constant Promise

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Seven: Constant Promises**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Away from the Sun by 3 Doors Down**

_**"...I miss the life, I miss the colors of the world...can anyone tell me where I am?"**_

**BellaPOV**

Jacob stared when I got out of the car and stumbled not only once but twice along the gravel road that led to Emily's house, he took my hand with an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head and chuckling all the while. "Only you, Bella."

"Its not like I can help it." I protested which only made him chuckle harder, my eyes unsconciously drinking in his laughing face but the calm and relief that I felt from his safety was quickly replaced by nerves.

"What is it?" He asked when he noticed I was lagging behind. My fingers twisting in his.

I stared nervously at the pretty house that was still familiar to me after all this time, my eyes shifted to his when I felt him squeeze my fingers, naturally detecting my anxiety. "It'll be fine, Bella."

"Bella!"

Curious when Jacob groaned and rolled his eyes, I peeked out from Jacob's back to see who the owner of the strange but familiar voice and managed not to stare with open mouth shock when somebody who vaguely looked like Seth ran incredibly fast toward us, the grin on his face as brilliant as the sun.

"Seth, down." Jacob muttered, Seth slowed down to a jog, the grin turned impish but not even close to repentant. He reminded me more than ever of how Jacob used to be, and also of how I felt every time I saw Jacob before his change. Seth shot off vertically--not as tall as Jacob but tall enough to create a shadow when he reached me--and filled out, very much like Jacob did.

Long and lean like a grey hound--no pun intended.

His dark eyes glinted with mischief and recklessness and my mind clouded with worry of what will happen, my hand that was tucked in Jacob's hands tightened around his fingers.

"Oof!" My fingers tore out of Jacob's as Seth threw his arms around me and lifted me inches from the ground. It seemed that Jacob's enthusiasm rubbed off on him too.

"Sam said you brought trouble with you." He grinned at me, still holding me up without batting an eyelash.

He ducked and shifted his feet, dodging Jacob's hand that flashed out to hit the back of his head.

"Remember that talk we had about tact, Seth?" Jacob lifted an eyebrow at the younger version of himself.

Both Seth and I scoffed at him.

"What?" He asked, offended.

"I don't think you're the best person to lecture about tact, Jacob." I answered.

"I know how to be tactful."

"_Mm_."

"I _do_."

Seth and I exchanged glances then rolled our eyes.

"Sure, Jake."

"Yeah, you got loads of tact."

"You're the very soul of tact."

"Shut up. And put her down already, sheesh."

Seth merely grinned and put me gently on my feet before leading the way to the house. "Come on, everybody is here."

I stifled a wince. "Everybody?"

"Well, this _is_pack business." He eyed me as we almost reached the house. "What are you so worried about?"

"Somehow I doubt that I'm welcome, Jake."

He shifted his gaze, inadvertantly comfirming my suspicion. "It's not you, Bella." He kept his voice light. "At least, not yet."

"Jacob."

He stopped pulling me forward, sighed and turned to face me. "Whatever that's coming for us, it's not your fault. Will you please stop blaming yourself for everything?"

"I will when it stops being my fault."

"You're being silly."

"It's fact. The Volturi won't even come here in the first place if it wasn't for me."

"Fault is not the problem here, okay? We'll deal with it."

I frowned, needing him to understand. "The Volturi is nothing like the new born vampires, Jacob. I--" He lifted his hands and held my head between his two large, hands, I felt grateful for the warmth of his hands against my skin. "We'll discuss fault later, okay. Now, I don't know about you but I'm hungry and from the _delicious_looking smells that are coming out of this house, Emily is _cooking_, and if we keep discussing about this out here, there will be no more food for me because my brothers will attack her like starved _wolves_."

It was weak, but I couldn't help but smile at the helpless, pleading woebegone look in his dark brown eyes. "Fine."

My heart twisted when his face brighten with that smile; the one that warmed me up from the crown of my head to the tips of my frozen toes. He watched me shudder and frowned, pulling me to the terrace. "Besides, you have to get out of the cold."

Jacob's smile was sly and amused when he caught me squaring my shoulders, his hand reaching for mine before he swung the door open..

The scene that greeted me was right out of every mother's nightmare.

Half naked boys were lounging around a table that groaned over the weight of rows and stacks of plates, bare feet and huge, half of them were sitting on the counters. I blinked when I saw Colin and Brady waved at me, almost as big and long as Seth at one of the corners of the room, gulping down a large pile of scrambled eggs each.

I huffed out a breath, I forgot how big, how _vital _all were, it was as if the air was electrified by their gathered presence. They were an eye catching sight all on their own, together they were an immovable force to contend with. Just stepping into the room felt like she passed through some kind of static web that pressed against her.

Jacob ducked his head over the doorframe, dragging me along. "There better still be some of that food for me."

Emily slided up among the walls of bodies, Bella blinked at the ease of how she made her way--a shift of feet, a poke here, an elbow shoved there--toward us. She looked like she was amused by my overwhelmed expression and engulped me in an embrace that I gratefully return just because she was _normal_, and at least she was smiling. "Bella, how are you?" She kissed my cheek, and I found out that although the scars were still there, still vivid, but I hardly saw them anymore. She looked beautiful to me, and comfortable and at home. "You look good."

"Thank you, Emily." I smiled, simply because I couldn't not to, looking into her happy face but inside, I was still cautious. "You do, too."

"I saved you some, Jacob. It's in the oven." She said without taking her eyes off of me.

Emily rolled his eyes at me when Jacob exhuberently hugged her and kissed her scarred cheek. "_Bless_you, Emily."

His eyes met mine in reassurance before he raced Seth to the oven. She shifted to my side, her arm hooked around mine and waited for me to clear my mind. I looked around along the path of desruction and mayhem--waved at Embry and Quil who grinned back, their mouths busy with chewing on something--my eyes went over everything twice before coming back to look at her. "How long till you get use to it?"

Emily laughed again and pulled me in. "Oh, Bella. I hope I never do."

I laughed at Jacob and Seth when they fought over the last sausage, only to lose it to Brady. Eventually, they ganged up on him on the last cookie. It bothered me, how comfortable I was here now that my anxiety about my welcome was dismissed, how easy they accepted me back into their circle. Of course, I also noticed that Paul, Jared, Leah and Sam weren't there, so perhaps, the jury was still out.

"Sam's talking with the council." I blinked when Jacob answered my thoughts. When I stared, he merely pulled at the edges of my hair. "Quiet, Bella. Always watching, always thinking."

"What's so wrong about that?"

He eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Why so defensive?"

I opened my mouth to deny but closed it again and thought of something to say. "I'm here to warn you but you won't let me."

He shrugged. "We'll get there eventually, Bells. For now, just relax, we have to wait for the council anyway, might as well enjoy the moment."

It wasn't until an hour later that the rowdy bunch turned eeriely silent, their attention orbiting to the door. I paused with a stack of dried plates in my hand waiting for whatever they were waiting on to show up, the only one that went about her business was Emily, who hummed as she rearranged the numerous plates and cooking ware.

Finally, the door cracked open and I held my breath when Sam, Jared, Paul and Leah entered in successive order. I put the plates in my hand on the table when their eyes instantly zoomed on me, their faces quiet and unreadable.

Jacob appeared beside me like a friendly shadow.

From the way he stood beside me--protective, defensive--I know there was dissension among the ranks, that not all of them welcomed my arrival as easily as Jacob had.

Well, that was to be expected.

Even though I was human, I was one of _them_now. One of the Cullens.

Not to mention, I have a knack to bring trouble into their land.

But somehow, I know that it wasn't just that, it wasn't just their tribe they were concern about. I already noticed the way Quil and Embry watched us, their dark eyes dissecting every look and smile. I noticed the way their brows lift when they saw our joined hands,--I wasn't quite ready to let him go just yet, still half sure that this was only a dream and when I wake up, it would have been too late--their brows wrinkled when they saw the russet wooden carving on my bracelet and the wedding band and engagement ring on the opposite hand.

Their watchfulness, the way their eyes glued to Jacob's face also gave me some clue as to how bad it was for Jacob when I left.

My heart ached when I felt his hand on the small of my back, urging me forward.

Sam was the one who greeted me first, shook my hand. "Bella."

"Sam." My little hand was lost in his big one, his dark eyes--wise and patient--probed mine. He smiled. "Marriage agrees with you."

I felt Jacob twitched beside me and I pulled my hand from Sam's grasp. "Thank you."

"How are the Cullens?"

"They are all very well."

"Your husband?"

I stared at Sam, wondering what he was trying to achieve with all the question either than to hurt Jacob. If he wanted to punish someone, surely it should be me. "Edward is fine, thank you for your concern."

I moved to greet the others but apparently Sam, wasn't finish. "How was the honeymoon?"

The hum of conversation stilled when Jacob stepped in front of me, a low growl climbing out of his throat and shivered along my spine, my eyes flashed at the two men but it was Leah who was the first to react. "That's enough. Maybe the two of you should go to your corners, huh?"

Maybe, if Leah's voice was opposing rather than tired, they would have ignored her but they backed away without taking their eyes of each other. Jared and Paul followed Sam into the kitchen while Jacob, Leah and me stayed in the living room with the others.

I looked at Jacob's dark expression and felt my insides twist. "Maybe I should go home for now."

Jacob lifted his head at that, I saw the panic that bloomed inside his eyes. "No, it's still early."

I looked to Leah who sighed. "The council will hear what you have to say tonight, at the bonfire. Until then, your time is yours."

I nodded and looked back to Jacob. "I can come by later."

"Why would you do that for? Come on, we'll spend some time in my house." He grinned, shamelessly using the brilliant smile that I love. "Like old times."

At the corner of my eyes, I saw Embry and Quil exchanged glum glances. "I don't think--"

As if he knew what I was thinking--which was usually the case--his face changed, the tone of his voice lowered. "_Don't_think. Other people can damn well mind their own business. We're not doing anything wrong." He pulled my hand. "Come on."

I glanced at the others from over my shoulder and saw their dark eyes following us, their looks burning a hole at my back.

We've arrive at his house in record time and I pulled on the edges of my jacket when Jacob called for Billy, I didn't know what to feel when Billy was nowhere to be found--relieved that I didn't have to answer any more questions or worried over the lack of buffer between Jacob and me. Jacob pulled out a couple of sodas from the fridge and lead the way to the--where else--garage.

I smiled as I followed, remembering the days where I spent my free time--whenever I wasn't mad at him--thinking of the days I spent here with him. We passed through the thick rows of trees and shrubbery that hid the house and everything else from view. It was easy to feel isolated, away from the house, away from other people, away from all the noise.

I screeched to a stop when I finally saw the garage. It was still the same, still made out of bolts, plastic, and wooden frames, but that was no surprise. I spent enough time there that I can probably build another one just like it, but it was the arrays of machines, cars, motorcycles that riddled the ground that caught my attention. Their guts spilled out on and under plastic tarp, wires hanging out of their openings like multicolored veins.

"Uh, Jacob. Are you running a chop shop?"

He snorted, pulled a plastic tarp off of a mangled carseat and sat on it. "I've been keeping busy."

I walked through the jungle of iron and shook my head. "I can see that. What are you doing with all this stuff?"

"It's not all mine, somebody told somebody that knows somebody that knows me that I could fix things and I figured it's about time I made some money for myself. It's not like I can get a part time job with my schedule, you know." he laughed. "Can you imagine me disappearing from a job because I have to phase like some superhero?"

I smiled at the laughter in his eyes and sat when he patted the seat beside him. "Not to mention if some customer pisses you off and you claw up his car or something."

He chuckled. "Nah, I don't do that anymore."

"Do what? Claw up the side of cars?"

He grinned. "Phase when I'm angry."

"Really? I thought anger triggers the phasing."

"It does. " He shrugged. "I just don't feel angry about being a werewolf anymore. I like being one. I'm over my teenwolf angst."

Suddenly, I remembered my latest conversation with Edward. "You're better at controlling yourself."

He deliberated over that for a few seconds and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess." He met my eyes. "I told you this, didn't I? I seem to have a better hold about this phasing bit than the others."

I nodded. "But last time, you were still a bit bitter about it. What changed?"

His eyes shifted, a hand came out to rubbed over his hair. Somehow I know it was something that I'd rather not know. "Because..it makes things easier I guess. It's not just our bodies that changes, Bella, our minds too; things are simpler, less complex, less..." He caught himself, quirked a small smile at me. "Just less. It's freeing."

We sat in silence, looking over the forest and the tattered ruins of his machines, sipping on cold sodas. It didn't take long for me to start shivering and for him to throw a hand over my shoulders, gathering me against his side to offer his body heat.

What he said swirl in my head and joined what Edward had said, it raced and twisted in my head and made me restless. Maybe he felt my tension because he ducked his head to look at my face. "What is it?"

_We just met, it's not the right time, don't rock the boat, _plead the little voice in my head but I shook it off, _there will never be a right time, and our relationship has always been rocky anyway._

"Edward said something."

I felt him still, almost vampire-like if not for the quickening of his heart. "Yeah?"

"_You_said that we would still be friends, no matter what I am."

He expression was less tense, more surprise and curious as if he was expecting something else from me. "I remember."

"Edward said it won't be that easy. Something about mortal enemies and the like."

His dark eyes swept over my face, I was certain he picked up certain emotions that I'd rather hide. Jacob was younger than me but in some ways he was more patient, more sensible, wiser although his emotions were more explosive than mine.

The kind that heats and blows up in your face before it cools down. Quick to anger, quick to apologize but rarely repentant.

"What did he tell you?"

I tried to read his face but it seems that he had some practice on his poker face. "He said that we would..."

"We would want to kill each other?"

I wondered if I looked as meek as I sound. "Yes."

"Does that bother you?" He asked, his tone of voice oh so matter of fact.

I frowned at him. "What do you take me for, Jacob? Of course, it does. Doesn't it bother _you_?"

His expression turned speculating before smoothing into the face that he used whenever he was trying to be calm. "Does it matter?"

I looked at the polite mask that he wore, not understanding. "What do you mean _does it matter_?"

He looked away to the woods, the sky was starting to darken with moody clouds, promising rain or snow. "It means just that, Bella. Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters."

His eyelids lowered and a small smile curved his wide lips. "I guess I should have asked _does it matter enough_?"

He saw the confusion in my eyes and shook his head slightly. "This is only a grace periode, isn't it? You still want to be a vampire, right?"

I paused before I finally nodded, but I knew that he knew that it wasn't because I have second thoughts but because I was unsure of what he was getting at.

"Then it doesn't matter." He shrugged his broad shoulders and stood, creating distance between us in guise of tossing away his empty can. My body missed his heat immediately. I watched his wide back, felt my stomach clutch at the way he hid away from me. "It matters, Jacob. It matters to me."

When he turned to look at me, his dark eyes were churning with bitterness and pain. "But not enough to make you change your mind."

We stared at each other, his words hovered in the empty space between us. I could deny it but we both would know it to be a lie.

He leaned against a car part that for the life of me, I couldn't named. "Do you know why Sam did what he did? Tossing those little reminders of who you are?"

"He's angry with me, isn't he?"

He shook his head. "No, he's not angry with you. He's angry with me."

His statement made me stared at him. "Why is he angry with you?"

It struck me, that this was the first time that I _really_looked at him since the first time I saw him again, the first time where I didn't see just one part of him--his eyes, his smile, his laugh--where I didn't concentrate on trying to see the shadow of my Jacob but all of him as a whole. His short hair looked like torn black satin, wisping across his broad, mature face. The darkness of his deep set eyes against his broad cheekbones, the straight nose and the wide, even lips. The strong line of his jaw--tight now--his expression settling down to one of youth. I stared at him, stared at how the escaping shafts of sunlight highlight his skin.

The look in his eyes quickened my heart, made the blood under my skin rushed faster. A part of me twisted in guilt and despair for his pain while another part, a part that has been dormant this last few months, turned restlessly and sighed.

_He still loves me, _parts of me agreed on the same conclusion although the feeling that resulted from it were so very different.

I wondered why that was such a surprise, after all, ever since I knew him, when everything else changed, his feelings for me was the one thing that hadn't.


	16. Confining Promises

**PROMISES TO KEEP**

**Chapter Eight**: **Confining Promises**

_**Chapter Soundtrack: Love Song Requiem**_

_"...this love will take my everything...one breath...one touch...will be the end of me..."_

**JacobPOV**

**--**

There it is.

The look she wore whenever I pushed my luck, whenever she heard something that she didn't like or at the very least, was uncomfortable with.

Well, _tough._

It's not like she didn't know, that she hadn't heard it a thousand times already from my own lips. It's not like I'd ever tried to hide it and even though I didn't say the words, I knew that she heard it as clearly as if I did.

There was no hiding it, not from the pack, not from her. I might smile and resume the life I had before she entered it—except for the werewolf part as an added plus—I could pretend around Charlie and my dad and it was easier still to pretend that Bella had never existed when I'm in school, surrounded by people who hadn't known her at all.

But now and again, my eyes would follow girls with slim builds and brunette hair, my ears would wait to hear the loud, grouchy grumble of her truck and my heart would ache when I caught myself doing the very thing that I promised myself I will never do again.

I dream of her...

The cold was starting to transform into mist, it clung to my skin and dampened my T-shirt but I still held her brown eyes with mine.

Would I ever get tired of being told that I wasn't enough?

She loved me but _not enough_ to be with me.

My feelings mattered but _not enough_ to change hers.

_She was married. To a vampire._

_Soon, she'll be one of them, too. The end._

_Give up already._

_She has her happy ending. Close that book._

Those words didn't only come from Embry or Quil or Jared, Paul or Leah for that matter, some of those words or something along those lines were also mine but it was no use.

Her words, her goodbyes were not enough to make me stop, so what made them think that theirs could?

And Sam, well, if I mull over my problem with Sam, the hours would pass only too quickly.

Finally, it was too much for her and she pulled her gaze away with some effort, like it was hard for her to do. My name was a sigh on her lips and as always, when she beckons, I come.

She started when I put my hand on her shoulder, either from the heat of my palm, the speed of my movement or the lack of sound of my footsteps. The look in her eyes when she looked at me when I knelt by her feet was a balm to my shuddering soul.

And even though she didn't say it, I knew she still loved me, too.

I'd spent many restless nights wondering what kind of a world I lived in that allowed two people to love each other so much, to recognize somebody as a soul mate but keep them apart by something equally strong, equally undeniable if not more so.

The answer came easily enough; a world where legends are real, where monsters didn't hide underneath our beds but walked among us and stared into our eyes with impunity.

_It wasn't imprinting_, I thought, _but it was close enough_.

My world didn't revolve around her but when was gone, she was the mist that surrounded my mind and every thought, the veil that covered my eyes, the song that my heart beat in time with.

The ground didn't move when I saw her but it crumbled underneath my feet when she was gone.

And gravity? Gravity didn't exist.

I hovered, suspended between the world where mythical creatures were flesh and blood and the real world where time lagged from one second to the other.

I held her soft, cold hands in mine and felt grounded, the Earth—once again—solid beneath my feet.

My senses returned to me by the sight and smell of her, the sound of her heartbeat and the feel of her warm skin.

And once she'll go away again—and she will—I will remember this exact moment when I knelt before the girl I loved, looking into her eyes, this exact second when I stopped fighting, stopped arguing, stopped struggling with myself and just accepted that my feelings for her would never go away.

I released the strangling hold that I had over my heart and with it, the weight that had been weighing it down. I felt it go and celebrated my heart's freedom, and it probably showed—showed in my face, my smile, because I saw it mirrored in her eyes in the way they smiled, seconds before her lips did.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked unaware that she was smiling, too.

_Because I love you._

"Why are _you_?" I let the smile stretch even further and her smile also widened. I doubted that she realized it and I surrendered to the golden sensation that bubbled up my throat, and I laughed.

"_Jake_, what is it?"

I laughed harder and she started to giggle without seeming to know why.

"Jake. Come on, tell me the joke." She said between laughs, her face glowing brightly in the ever-changing light.

Our laughs clashed, harmonized, twined around each other in the misty air.

I sighed, still smiling, feeling the warm glow that climbed out from my heart to spread over my body. "I'm just glad that you're here, Bella."

She blinked, confused, but a smile still curved her lips, her head tilting slightly to the side as if trying to decide on whether to press further or not but probably something in my face made her accept my answer as it was.

I rubbed her chilling hands. "You're cold." I smiled again as an idea popped into my head. "Come on, I have a place to show you."

"A place?"

I only grinned.

After a few seconds when I put on my clean pair of jeans—okay, there were some grease smears but they were the cleanest I had at the moment—and shoes, and after a minute more when Bella insisted that she reacquaint herself with Rabbit, we finally got a move on. Less than fifteen minutes later we stood in front of a charming building—well, more like a well-lived-in shack—that was filled to the brim with people, we could see them walking around, talking over tables and counters throughout the huge windowless opening that took half of the walls.

It didn't look like much but it was homey and comfortable.

Its yard was loitered with cars, motorbikes, and bicycles. Bella, however, was not paying attention to the ear-deafening music pounding through the corner speakers or the screams and laughter of children. Her attention was caught by the signboard of the place; carved vertically on one of the white beams were the word: The Great Wolf.

My lips twitched when she eyed the wooden wolf statue that stood as high as her waist, guarding the entrance.

Finally, after a full minute when her eyes returned to the signboard and then—again—shifted to the wooden wolf statue, she turned to him. "_Really_?"

By the grin on her face, it was obvious she was tickled by both and she laughed with me. I told her how Sue bought the place and made it into a diner, now everyone seemed to come and gravitate toward the diner whenever they had free time, which was always.

She narrowed her eyes at the wolf statue, observing the protective posture, the detail of its fur and depth of eyes. I nodded when she lifted questioning eyes to me. "I kept myself busy remember?"

"Uh-huh." I pulled the hand that was brushing over the head of the carved wolf and walked behind her so she didn't get squashed by the crowd. "The guys are probably here, too."

She inched her head back to look at me and I stroked her arm in comfort. "They'll behave."

"I don't want them to _behave_." She yelled back but I ignored her as I waved to some people from school.

"Hi, Jacob." I turned to see a girl at my English class sitting with a bunch of people, again, from school.

"Hey, Amy." I waved back but didn't stop to chat because Embry yelled my name at the same time; they had a table at one of the corners. I pushed Bella forward, guiding her by a hand on her elbows, my eyes at the guys until I sensed her eyes on me. I ducked down but kept moving. "What?"

She smiled. A hand came up to shift her loose, long hair. "I think she likes you."

I blinked. "Who?"

She looked at me suspiciously, as if she didn't believe that I had no idea who she was referring to. "The girl. Amy."

I scoffed. "Amy? What?"

"What do you mean, _what_? It's obvious."

I laughed, shook my head and shrugged, not believing it. "Yeah, well. I'm taken."

The _look_ appeared again and she inched away but I reached for her hand.

She'd been away from me for far too long. "Embry and Quil already got a table. Come on."


	17. The World in A Promise

**Promises to Keep**

**Chapter Nine: Unsaid Promises**

**Chapter Soundtrack: Photographs and Memories by Jason Reeves**

_**"...writing moments on the wall...the different color keeps my mind away from missing you.."**_

**BPOV**

I exchanged an amused look with Jacob when Embry and Quil made a great show of greeting me, as if this was the first time they saw me since I left. Their concentrated scrutinizing was comical. "What?"

Quil sighed heavily, his face crumpled into helpless lines so great that I laughed but not soon after almost choked on the my coke when by a slide of hand so fast I almost didn't see it, he passed a five dollar bill to Embry who cackled in triumph and quickly waved over a waitress to spend his winnings.

"Bella, I'm glad, but really, I thought you'd be a vampire by now." He explained. I held my breath, expecting Jacob to turn the table over in anger or something but he merely rolled his eyes.

Quil however, continued to look me over. "What do they feed you?"

This time Jacob narrowed his eyes but merely said, "Embry."

I grinned when without batting an eyelash, even without looking up from the menu, Embry lifted his hand and slapped the back of Quil's head.

Quil took the abuse without so much as a blink.

"Bella." I looked up at the feminine shout and smiled when I saw Sue, Seth and Leah's mother. "So good to see you."

"Good to see you to, Sue. This is a great place." I yelled over the music and she grinned proudly. "Well, this is the only way I get to see my kids nowadays."

I probably looked confused because Jacob chimed in. "We work here in shifts, so does Seth and Leah. There's always a couple of us hanging around."

I nodded and smiled at Sue. "Teenagers."

She laughed and rolled her eyes when somebody called her name. "Well, I have to go. Order something, it's on the house. _Only_ Bella's." She said before Embry, Jacob and Quil could say anything. She kissed my cheek and waved. "We'll see you tonight. Make sure you see Charlie, he's been pining."

"For my cooking, perhaps."

She disappeared into the crowd with a laugh. I looked around the diner, the music was so loud the walls or what's left of it shook with the bass, the sounds of glass, plates and spoons rose higher than the hum of conversation, as was the shrieks and laughter of children who ran over the place. People ran and stumbled over each other, the rows of table were crooked and jammed across every available space without any sort of order.

I _love_ it.

Someone slid along the booth that we occupied and smooshed me against Jacob. Seth beamed brightly at me. "So, what do you think?"

I beamed back. "It's great."

"I named it. From what the people called Taha Aki."

I laughed, he's enthusiasm was infectious. "I know. Very clever."

The three older boys on the table groaned. "Don't encourage him."

"Go away."

"This is grown up time."

They tossed French fries at him which he deftly caught and toss into his mouth. Smiling slyly at Jacob, he pecked my cheek before saying that he had work to do. Before I can catch my breath at the whirlwind of his coming and going, Leah came to the table, an apron around her slim hips, a pen and paper on their hands. "Oh, it's you guys. What do you want?"

Embry stared woefully at Leah. "Leah, is that the way you talk to customers?"

Leah sneered back. "Yes, what you gonna do about it?"

Quil pointed at her with a straw. "We'll tell Sue."

I stifled a smile when Leah's challenging expression fell but she wasn't one to step back from a fight. "Yeah? Then I'll tell about all those napkins you wasted by scribbling your number so you can give it to every available girl." Her eyes glinted. "I even saw you gave one to Kimberly Blackwing."

Quil knew when he was defeated, "Well played." I laughed when the guys threw paper napkins at him.

"Kimberly Blackwing?" Embry asked in disgust. "Are you really that desperate, Quil?" He dodged neatly out of the way of Quil's elbow and aimed a crooked smile to Jacob that spoke of evil thoughts. "Besides, everyone knows that Kimberly had set her sights upon a certain someone."

I perked up at that, ignoring the subtle twist in my stomach--the same one when I saw _Amy_--and looked sideways to where everyone else was looking, at Jacob.

Jacob lifted his left hand--his right hand perched along the top of the booth we were sitting on--to sip on his coke in a nonchalant manner. "Blackwing who?"

I stared at him but again, like when I asked about Amy, he appeared to look totally clueless and from Quil's, Embry's to Leah's reaction, I concluded that this happened a lot.

Strange, I always thought of Jacob as mature beyond his age and very perceptive.

I shook my head at the sheer amount that they ordered, Leah had to flip a page. When she left I finally voiced the question that surfaced when I thought about their eating habits. "Don't people ever get suspicious on why you guys eat so much? They might think you're on drugs or something."

They laughed. "Bella, please." Quil aimed an amused glance at me. "Do you really think anyone looking at us would think that we're taking drugs?"

I tilted my head in thought as I spread my gaze to the smiling faces around me. Taking in the healthy, beautiful color of their skin, the blue black of their hair, the sharp glint in their dark eyes, their muscular build and the intangible sense of, well, _something_ that oozed out of them like perfume that set them apart from other people. It's not as vividly obvious as with the Cullens who were so obviously something else, but now that I know what the boys were, it was impossible to see them as anything but.

And like the day when Jacob came to my school, everyone sensed it, they didn't know what it was but it tapped into their subconscious that they boys are different, they are dangerous, that they are people that you don't want to mess with. Even now, where people are standing almost at each others toes, the crowd gave wide berth to our booth, darting nervous glances at us without even knowing why. Seth and Leah who traipsed across the room also had no problem of finding their way through the crowd.

I smothered the shiver that feathered down my spine and almost knock over my glass when Jacob laughed and lifted my hand, pulling at it so the guys can see. "Look, she got goosebumps."

I wanted to sink into the chair when they laughed and teased me, their voices getting louder by the second because of my blush. "Well, you guys are something all right." I muttered darkly which only made them laugh harder.

I sighed in relief when the food came and it took their attention away from me. I forked my spaghetti and watched them eat--it was still an experience--and I finally realized that I _missed_ this. I liked the quiet, the calm, and it's not like the Cullens couldn't be rowdy when they were feeling feisty. Jasper and Emmet's annual duels and fighting matches were always entertaining. I like the way we spend time in the living room, in front of the fireplace, either talking or reading or playing music or simply basking in each others presence.

But I missed this, arguments over food with people around the table talking about nothing at all. Names of friends and family tossed to and fro like a game of tennis, threats over who ordered what on the table.

Eating alone can be a little lonely.

It wasn't like The Cullens tried at Edward's insistence but, it made no sense that they have to sit around the table doing nothing but watch me eat. It was nerve wracking and I was bound to do something stupid because of my nerves, like stab myself with a fork or something, so I either eat alone or with Edward which again, is a bit silly.

"What are you smiling at?" Jacob whispered and looking into his dark eyes, I felt myself smiling a little wider. "Nothing."

He looked at me suspiciously but the look in his eyes showed that he understood, he returned to his food and argued with Quil over some mechanical thing but not before he brushed a hand along my shoulder. I caught Embry's eyes that was somewhat serious, obviously he saw the comforting gesture and interpreted it as something else.

I was almost halfway through my plate when they finished eating their mountain of food. Suddenly, out of nowhere Quil leaned forward. "Two out of three?"

Jacob snorted. "Give it up already, man. You always lose."

"_Never_."

He shrugged. "Fine, more money for me." I eased out of my chair to let him pass and he stood before me. "I'm going to pulverize Quil over a game of foose ball. Stay here, okay? Finish your food."

The bland stare I gave him made him laugh.

"He's happy."

I turned to see Seth taking Quil's spot on the table. Embry still slurping on his coke.

I sat and twirled my fork, looking back to Jacob who grinned at Quil, obviously trading insults. "Looks like."

"You're going to break his heart again, aren't you?"

"Seth." Embry hissed at the younger boy but Seth didn't take his eyes off of me. The words may stabbed my heart with little pin pricks but the tone itself was bemused, curious even, it was not even remotely accusing.

Maybe he saw that his question hurt me, so he backtracked. "It's not like it's your fault or anything, or his. It's just, it's hard...seeing him that way. Feeling it." He shrugged. "I just want a warning next time."

My knuckles whitened around the fork. "There won't _be_ a next time, Seth."

"You sound sure." Seth's was not accusing, but Embry's was. His frown was more than enough for me to guiltily slide my eyes away. "Was it...bad?"

"Was it bad for you when the bloodsucker left?"

I winced, the memory of those months were still a little too clear for my liking. And the pain that I remembered was something that I would ever wish on anyone, least of all Jacob. "I'm sorry."

Embry sighed. "It's not your fault, Bella. Not all of it, anyway. It's _him_." His dark eyes met mine, frustrated. "He just can't let you go."

Something curled inside me at his words, a feeling that was so close to relief that I felt even guiltier.

"We keep hoping that he would or at the very least, imprint."

Seth shook his head at the question in my eyes. "He hasn't."

"Forget imprint, we'd be glad if he so much as comment on a girl."

Seth piped in again. "He doesn't."

"I do notice that he is a bit oblivious about girls."

"Except you." Seth corrected.

Even now, I could see the appreciation in female eyes over his lean form, the way their eyes wandered over to him and stayed when he flashed a brilliant smile. Caught by the sound of his laughter--the sound of sunlight. It wasn't just the impressive way he filled a T shirt, or the interesting grease smears on his old, tattered jeans. It wasn't the werewolf thing that might as well stamp the word _bad boy _on his forehead.

It was the grace of his movements despite his large build, the wicked glint in his deep set eyes, the ease of confidence that bordered on arrogance. The contrast of his rugged looks, his earthy laugh and the way his fingers touched the foose ball table, the easy way those long and large hands turned the handles that showed a hint of firmness but also gentleness that pricks the curiosity.

"He gets a lot of attention then?"

Seth scoffed. "If you think this is bad, you should see when he's at school. The girls there salivates over him like..." He paused and I waited for it. "..wolves.

Embry chuckled before it settled into a sigh. "But again, it's not like he notices it. It's like, he doesn't _see_ them."

The way he said it made me flash backed to a particular memory. I could almost hear the waves and taste the salt in the air. Felt again the flutter of my heart when Jacob's dark eyes pierced into mine.

_I'll never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else..._

Í felt my chest constrict with a kind of sweet pain that had no place inside me, that _shouldn't_ be there at all. As if he felt my eyes on him from his spot across the room, he looked back, a smile on his face that dimmed by seconds with whatever it was he saw in my face. His expression turned soft as did the curve of his lips while we kept our eyes on each other.

The loud screech of a toddler near by, didn't matter.

The judging and calculating eyes of both Seth and Embry, didn't matter.

The music that pounded over the speakers, didn't matter.

The wedding band that weighed my left hand, didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was the oddments of memories and crystallized moments that brought me to this epiphany.

I love him and he loves me.

And no length of time will change that, not even the fact that I'm already living my happy ending, that I already have my prince charming, that I got my story book ending.

The beguiling sadness that breathed inside me was almost as sweet as it was heart breaking.

Again, this was nothing new.

We didn't talk about it. Not in the diner when he sat back on the table, not when we were driving to the bonfire because, we both know that nothing had change. That things will not change.

We sat in the darkness of the car, the silent between us was a loud screaming presence on its own, but still we didn't speak. Unsaid words hovered between us, choking the air with tension as I watched Jacob from the corner of my eyes. It didn't take long for us to reach the bonfire but the tension had build so quickly between us that it was near to bursting when we got of the car.

He walked in front of me with strong, silent steps.

I couldn't take it anymore. I have to say something. "Jacob."

He looked back and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. Not anything that we haven't talked about before. He turned and stood before me. I wondered if the look in his eyes reflected mine when he slid his arms around me. "I know," he whispered into my hair.

Inside the warmth of his arms, listening to his heart beat, I decided that there was nothing more to say, we've said all there was to say, all that needed to be said. It didn't change things then, it wouldn't change things now. We stayed like that for a few seconds more before he snapped his head up. "Everyone has gathered."

He pulled away, took my hand and guided me to the circle.


End file.
